On this day....

....6 years ago, I did the hardest thing ever in my life. I had to put down my first dog.

Yeah, I know. You're probably thinking, "Well, that happens to everyone & it's hard but not the hardest thing. What's your problem???" Well, to me, someone who waited 17 years to have their first dog EVER, it was harder than you could EVER imagine.


So I hope you're comfortable and have a snack and drink cuz this is a LONG one! Sit back, read, and soak in all that is about my baby, Boo Boo....


I still remember the day when I was 2 asking my folks for a dog. They said no. Through out the years, they would warm up to the idea yet they would have mixed opinions on if it should be an inside or outside dog, how big of a dog and all that good shit. Finally, on Christmas of 2000 (When I was 19!), one of my gifts was a letter letting me know I could have any dog I wanted. Well, I went on a search! What I've always wanted (since I was about 9-10 years old) was an English Bulldog, before they became as super popular as they are now! Since I knew my folks didn't want to spend $2000 on a dog, I looked for alternatives routes in possibly getting a rescued bulldog or maybe something else in the bulldog family.

Then one day, my cousin sent me an online classified listings for bulldogs in OC. The first one I saw was for an American Bulldog in the Westminster/Garden Grove area (which is about 15 mins away from my house). I called the people and they said I could go over and see him. Well, it turned out where I went was a lil' part of the area called "Little Saigon". The house was kinda shady looking and the guys were even shadier. I walk in and see this 10 week old dog that was about 20 lbs.! He looked like "Petey" from the "Little Rascals" and man, he was HUGE! They informed me they named the dog "T-Bone" so I started to call him by his name but he didn't budge. Found out that I would be the 3rd owner to this poor animal in his short lil life. Poor thing was scared. I, of course went by myself (dumb ass move), asked about where they got him (from a breeder; they were "waiting on the papers"), got to know the dog, stayed for about an hr. and after seeing the dog and the living conditions he was in, I just said, "I'll take him." I asked if they could send me the papers or if I could even come by to pick them up when they got them and they said, "Sure". <--(We'll get to that soon....) So I called my folks to know that I was bringing home a dog. They were shocked but they were ok with it. When I got home and my mom saw how big his paws were, she was like, "Oh shit. He's going to be a big boy!" Well, she was right! I took him to the vet literally every week for the first few weeks I had him, just to make sure he was ok since where he came from was so dirty & shady. He was fine & every week he was gaining like 10 lbs! Before I knew it, when he was about 3 months, he was 60 lbs but PURE muscle! At first, he was still very nervous and sketchy yet after awhile, he knew we were his family. If anything, the more he & I were around each other, the more him & I were like the same person! I don't know if an animal & a human could be alike but we sure were! People were afraid of him cuz he looked like he could eat them but if they only knew he was just as afraid (maybe even more than them), LBS and I came up with the name "Boo Boo". He taught himself to jump onto my bed, which at that time, was at least 3 & 1/2 feet above the ground! So here was this big ass dog & my manatee ass on a twin size bed! I don't know how we did it but it worked and we slept like that every night! I also taught him how to sit, stay, catch food (Favorite Food- French Fries, especially Jack in the Box fries) in his mouth but my favorite was that he knew how & when to give a kiss when someone would ask. He was just amazing.



I have to say, maybe for the fact that he was basically around me all the time, he didn't act like your "normal" dog. This was some dog! Boo Boo LOVED car rides more than any other dog I have EVER known! He would sit as if he had a seat belt on! He even went as far as going 2 exits away from Mexico with me and being cool the whole way there and back! I was able to take him anywhere and everywhere and I LOVED doing that! Oh and Ladies, if you ever want to get checked out by guys, get an American Bulldog or some kind of good looking BIG dog! I can NOT tell you how many times I would see a guy tell me to roll down my window cuz they wanted to ask about my dog! Every time that ever happened to me, I would always turn around and say, "Thank you baby." and Boo Boo would just look at me confused.





Another thing that made him not a "normal" dog was that he hated going for walks. He, on more than several occasions, would either hide or chew up his leash! Thank God he did know how to walk to and from the car without running away! So instead of going on walks, every night around 11-ish, Boo Boo & I would go pick up "Ho", grab a Slurpee and then sit at an open field by my house and just let him run away until he was ready to go home. The great thing about that was all I had to do was say, "Ok baby, let's go." and he would just go straight back to the car. There were times when he would actually go back by himself and look at me like, "Alright let's go! I'm done." Those times at the park were the best. Me, Boo Boo, Ho, Slurpees, broken sprinklers (Thanks to Boo Boo), great talks with Ho and watching Boo Boo have a blast...... Those are some of the best memories. I keep those memories fresh in my mind because of how good they were and how I smile every time I think about them.......



I truly felt that Boo Boo thought he was human. Call me crazy (it's ok, I know) but I felt like him and I shared the same thoughts and feelings. At times, I felt he would be more patient with me than I would be with him. One day I'll never forget was when 9/11 happened. Like everyone else that day, Boo Boo & I just watched the TV for hours. At one point, he looked at me with this sad look on his face and I, with tears in my eyes, just said, "Yeah, I know". I then told him to watch the TV again and he did.



One thing that people could not deny was how he was with lil kids! For my cousin, who has SEVERE anger & attention issues, him & Boo Boo were the best of friends! He just knew how he was and my cousin knew how to be around him. Also, another cousin of mine was SUPER afraid of dogs, let alone this huge animal that looked like he could tear her apart within seconds and she would take him for walks all the time and just say, "Come on Puppy" and there he went. I think of anything, he did have something against adults though. I'm pretty certain he was abused by one or both of his past owners so he had major issues with most people who came over.



Well, if most of you don't know, Bulldogs have MAJOR health issues! The first thing that was a problem was his allergies. I would have to give him Benadryl about 2-4 times a day, depending on how much he would sneeze or scratch. Our backyard looked like we lived in Chernobyl and I, at the age of 19, had a curfew of midnight that way I would be home to give him his meds.! And let me tell you, if my ass wasn't inside at 12, my phone would ring! One time I was just about to open the door and my phone rang! I opened the door & said, "I'M HERE, CALM DOWN!". The longest I was ever away from him was 4 days, which was when I went on a plane for the first time, to Boston, with a friend. That was 4 months after 9/11 and man, was I freaked out going on a plane!!! All I told my friend on the way home was that I just wanted to get home to my baby.... I'll never forget when I got home, he zoomed down the stairs and just gave me all the kisses he could. I promised I would never leave him for that long again.....



Then, on December 26, 2002, we woke up and did our morning routine of going to the restroom yet when Boo Boo jumped off the bed, he kinda limped and tucked his back leg in. Since I took this dog to the vet every time he sneezed the wrong way, I rushed him to the vet..... They kept him there all day, doing every sort of test and at approx. 5:38 pm, while I was on my way to work, the vet called saying I needed to go over there. Called my work & told them I couldn't make it in and headed to the vet.



Once I got there, they informed me he had Hip Dysplacia in both of his hips. One was completely out and the other was on the verge. I was devastated. All I could do was cry. Then my sadness turned into anger. Of all the times I EVER took that dog in, knowing that Bulldogs have a history of this sort of thing, it NEVER occurred to them to test him, even just examine the area??? Man, I was LIVID and right then and there, I demanded a copy of his file and I was going to get a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately, every place I took him to, he was in so much pain and was also just plain scared that they would have to muzzle him. I just couldn't believe this was happening!



We randomly had a family get together and I was telling a 2nd cousin of mine about what was going on with Boo Boo & she recommended her vet. She couldn't stop talking about how great she was and maybe she could do something in helping the situation. So I called to make an appt. and the only appt. they had was when I was working. By the grace of GOD, LBS saw how depressed I was and offered to take him for me. I was BLOWN away just for the fact that 1- She has NO patience and 2- It's all about her........ I thanked her profusely yet I had to warn her to keep her cool and she had to be the epitome of patient. She needed to know that they may need to muzzle him and to just make him feel comfortable.



Man, you'll never know how nervous I was that day. I called right when I had a chance to see how the appt. went. Assuming that it was just going to be really hard and that they would have to muzzle him for the fact he probably snapped at the vet and that he couldn't get along with the staff, I called LBS really worried. These were LBS's exact words-- "Ummm... He couldn't stop giving her kisses." I started to cry..... From then on, we went to her and to this day we still go to her for the filthy animal we have now. Let's just say that if I were to move across the United States, I would make an effort to take my pets to her about once or twice a year need be! She's amazing and if you need a vet, ask me and I'll give you her info.



LBS really stepped up and I couldn't thank her enough for doing what she did for me! She did inform me that the vet said to really keep an eye on him because yeah, he can live through the pain (which I guess he has been doing since he was born) but if he started to become aggressive, we really needed to be more worried about that. The vet told us to give him aspirin twice a day, plus he also had his allergy meds so this poor thing was just a pill popper! At least he was really good at actually digesting his meds.


Through out the next month or so, we went to check out how much it would be to actually fix the hips. We had 2 options- 1, Taking out the ball from the socket and having him go through physical therapy: that costing a mere 3,000 grand per hip.... or 2, Having him become the "Bionic" dog and replacing the whole ball and socket yet knowing that 9 out of 10 times, it fails: that costing 5,000 PER hip! You would think when spending that much money, that shit would be good & legit! Then, he did become very aggressive towards people coming over. We would have to lock him up and he would be so upset. I felt horrible. I didn't want this for my baby so I would spend as much time as I could with him.


Well, towards the end of March of 2002, his aggressive was getting so bad, he started turning on my mom & I. We were to closest to him and he was turning on us. I then talked about it was my family and some friends and I came to the realization that I really shouldn't be selfish and think of "just me". What about Boo Boo? What about all the pain & suffering he's going through? He's lashing out and becoming a violent dog because of the excruciating pain he was in. I then called the amazing vet and asked her how much of a horrible person I would be if I put him down. She told me that I would be actually a good person because I would be thinking of his well being and that he wouldn't be suffering anymore. I then decided that it was time.

On Wednesday, April 17th, I laid in bed with Boo Boo all day. Watched TV, gave him his favorite fries from Jack in the Box, and just cuddled with him, giving him all the kisses I could. At around 4:15, I left, uncontrollably sobbing, to pick up Ho to go with me to do what was best. By the way, Ho, if you're reading this, you know how I will always have the up most respect and love for you going with me that day. We arrive at the vet around 5-ish and they take us in Room 2. They sedated Boo Boo that way he would be relaxed when they did it. Now, here's the semi-kicker: Both Ho & I were there when they put him down. Now, I know, I have admitted it more times than not, that I am a masochist yet I knew if I just dropped him off that the last image in my head would be him trying to come back to me and damn if I was going to live a life with that in my mind!


When they brought him back into the room, I asked him to give me a kiss.... He did. He then laid across my lap as I just cried and held him. The doctor came in and she gave him the shot. It took about 5-7 mins. She took his pulse after that time and she informed Ho and I that he had passed. I laid there for about 30 mins afterwards and just cried. Even Ho, who's the epitome of trying to be a hard ass, couldn't hold back the tears. Ho then got me off the ground and he drove me home. Ho actually took me to another park (the now infamous, "Brown Bagging" park) and we had a Slurpee. I was ok after a while. The next few days were really tough though.


Then, my sadness and depression turned into anger and rage. I told Ho that we needed to go to the people who I got Boo Boo from and ask about the "papers" I was suppose to get, informing of any problems or history and whatnot about him! So we go over there and they never answered the door. I even tried calling them and never heard back from them. To this day, nothing. There was nothing much I could do from there.


A few months later, I found out about how people were getting dogs from Mexico that were sick and selling them here for like NOTHING. It was a pretty big news report here (SoCal) and I just figured that's what happened to me. I got a dog, who was sick, and was taken advantage. But I can't really say I was totally taken advantage because the time that I did have Boo Boo, I was truly the happiest girl you would ever see. I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. The reason I had Boo Boo was to give him the best life he could have and he was here to show me how to become a stronger person. After everything that I went through with him, I truly feel that I am a stronger person for having him in my life.


Last year, for the 5th anniversary, I got dog paws tattooed on me. I saw them one thing somewhere and I cut them out and held on to them in my wallet until last year. They're on my back and they look like they're walking. So now, I like to say that he's always with me whatever I go in life.


Now that I have been crying like no other while typing at work, I should end this but I want to end saying this- No matter what happens to me or how many pets I may have in my life, I will always think of Boo Boo, my baby. He was my first and I will always hold a special place for him in my heart.

me. =:::)