....go get a gun & shoot yourself! Don't believe me??? Read this:
"A 90-year-old Akron, Ohio, woman who shot herself as
sheriff's deputies tried to evict her from her foreclosed home
became a symbol of the nation's home mortgage crisis Friday.
Addie Polk is being treated at Akron General Medical Center
after shooting herself at least twice in the upper body Wednesday
afternoon, her city councilman said.
On Friday, Fannie Mae spokesman Brian Faith said the mortgage
association had decided to halt action against Polk and sign the
property "outright" to her. "We're going to forgive whatever
outstanding balance she had on the loan and give her the house,
" Faith said. "Given the circumstances, we think it's appropriate."
Meanwhile, U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, mentioned Polk
on the House floor Friday during debate over the latest economic
rescue proposal."
So., really? This 90 year old woman had to make a blunt point
by SHOOTING HERSELF cuz she didn't want to leave her home
and now everything is "a-ok"?! Can you imagine if this were to
REALLY become a trend??? Makes me sick... ={
My question to anyone who reads this & works/worked in the
mortgage/real estate/loan business is why AND how all this was ok?!
How was it ok to approve people for loans they couldn't afford, even
go as far as in LYING on the applications that way they could purchase
a home that was REALLY out of their means??? Yes, I know, we can
blame a lot of this on greed but look where we are now.....
You know what's weird? 2 years ago, my dad knew this was going
to happen. You wanna know what's scary? After seeing/understanding
what he was saying 2 years ago, I predicted this would not become
a "recession" but a "depression"...... One of the few thinga my father
and I have in common- we don't like to be proven right.... Let's just
say we're pretty perturbed right now.....
me.
Showing posts with label story time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story time. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
I don't care if you're voting for Obama, McCain or your dog...
.....you MUST read this! Seriously everyone, this can be our reality if we don't realize what's TRULY going on!!!!
me ={
By Glenn Beck
CNN- NEW YORK --
Dear America:
Happy 300th Birthday!
It's 2076 and we've just invented the time-fax machine. (Actually, "we" didn't invent the time-fax machine, the State did -- they pretty much control everything now.)
I'm faxing this back to you in 2008 because that seems to be the year we had the best chance to reverse our course and get back to the vision laid out by our founding fathers -- a vision that didn't include the government being in the insurance business.
I don't have a lot of time (the State only gives us one 30-minute break per day) so let me give you some advice: Stop worrying so much about who runs the country and start worrying about who runs your towns, your states, and your Congress.
I know you're all distracted by the presidential election, but for all the money and time poured into it, the truth is that you're choosing between two roads that will lead you to the same destination. Sure, one may be the Autobahn and the other a two-lane highway, but you'll end up at the same place either way.
Decades of Republicans and Democrats alike have all chipped in to lead you to where you are today. Believing that one person, from either party, can change that by themselves is a big mistake.
Presidents are like captains of a large ship: They can map out a course and shout out orders, but without the trust and hard work of the people who actually move the rudders, their commands
mean nothing.
In retrospect, the lack of trust and confidence you now have in your leaders was really the root cause of everything that's happened since. While our founding fathers designed a brilliant
system of checks and balances, separation of powers and democratic elections, trust was the one thing they couldn't mandate in the Constitution.
Unfortunately, it's also the foundation upon which everything else is built and once it began to erode, our whole house inevitably began to crumble.
Looking back now, it's pretty obvious that our trust in government declined at about the same rate as our partisanship increased. People became so concerned about getting their party
into power at any cost that the truth didn't even seem to matter anymore.
That's probably one of the reasons why George Washington hated the idea of political parties so much. Here's what he said about them in his 1796 farewell speech:
"The alternate domination of one faction over another,
sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension,
which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the
most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism.
But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism.
The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds
of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an
individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction,
more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this
disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins
of public liberty. "
I know that George had a habit for using big words, so allow me to translate into 2008 English: Political parties that put their own success over that of the country's will be the death of America.
If you don't believe him yet, just wait a few more years...you're about to see firsthand how right he was. After all, if power corrupts, then the kind of absolute power gained by political parties (and feared by Washington) corrupts absolutely.
The best advice I can give you is to stop thinking in terms of left and right and start thinking in terms of right and wrong. Demand the best leaders possible, and then demand the best out of them.
Believe me, when you see what's coming your way, you'll realize how little the donkey and the elephant really ever mattered. Oh and while we're on politics, one quick thing that I'm sure you're curious about: Yes, Robert Byrd is still in the Senate. He's 159, but doesn't look a day over 91.
Now, let's talk about the economy. Let me see if I have this right: Money and power made people greedy, so you decided to hand over a bunch of money and power to greedy politicians instead. Smart! After using that money to nationalize a bunch of banks, mortgage companies and insurance companies, they moved on to bigger things.
The airlines came first -- we just couldn't live without them. Then it was the automakers (Detroit would've died), health care (they said they could manage it better), and eventually, the oil companies (I'm not sure where all of those "windfall profits" have gone).
The idea behind it all (an idea that was eventually turned into law with the passage of the Securities Exchange Act of 2011) was to "socialize losses" by spreading them out among all taxpayers. The pain, our leaders argued, would be minimal that way.
They were right. At least until the bills came due.
See, we didn't actually have any of the money we were promising everyone; we were borrowing it.
It didn't take long before so many of our tax dollars were going toward interest payments that we couldn't fund even the most basic of government programs without massive tax increases
on everyone. People now work most of the year just to pay Uncle Sam (or, as we now call him, "Comrade Sam").
I hear the State censors coming, so let me leave you with a few other quick things:
• Good call on not worrying about protecting our borders. That works out really well for you in 2019.
• You might want to spend a little less time worrying about carbon and a little more time worrying about Iran. We're now in a new mini-Ice Age but, believe me, Iran isn't using their
nukes to warm any homes. (PS The International Atomic Energy Agency just revealed to you that Iran appears to be refitting their long-range missiles to carry nuclear payloads. Did you think they were joking or were you just too busy with lipsticks and pigs to notice?)
• The currency of the future is energy. Those who have it are thriving and those who don't -- well, let's just leave it at that.
Drill for all the oil you can, but you also better start seriously looking for some other options.
In closing, remember this golden rule and you should be fine:
Your Constitution will never fail you, but your leaders will. Be wary of anyone who tries to convince you that it's the other way around.
Best wishes (you're going to need them),
Worker 2744A
PS It's not all socialist doom and gloom here in the future.
We just thawed Ted Williams' cryogenically frozen body and he hit 87 home runs for the North Team!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's note: Glenn Beck is host of a conservative
national radio talk show.
Glenn Beck says the decisions Washington makes today
could have fateful consequences for the future.
me ={
By Glenn Beck
CNN- NEW YORK --
Dear America:
Happy 300th Birthday!
It's 2076 and we've just invented the time-fax machine. (Actually, "we" didn't invent the time-fax machine, the State did -- they pretty much control everything now.)
I'm faxing this back to you in 2008 because that seems to be the year we had the best chance to reverse our course and get back to the vision laid out by our founding fathers -- a vision that didn't include the government being in the insurance business.
I don't have a lot of time (the State only gives us one 30-minute break per day) so let me give you some advice: Stop worrying so much about who runs the country and start worrying about who runs your towns, your states, and your Congress.
I know you're all distracted by the presidential election, but for all the money and time poured into it, the truth is that you're choosing between two roads that will lead you to the same destination. Sure, one may be the Autobahn and the other a two-lane highway, but you'll end up at the same place either way.
Decades of Republicans and Democrats alike have all chipped in to lead you to where you are today. Believing that one person, from either party, can change that by themselves is a big mistake.
Presidents are like captains of a large ship: They can map out a course and shout out orders, but without the trust and hard work of the people who actually move the rudders, their commands
mean nothing.
In retrospect, the lack of trust and confidence you now have in your leaders was really the root cause of everything that's happened since. While our founding fathers designed a brilliant
system of checks and balances, separation of powers and democratic elections, trust was the one thing they couldn't mandate in the Constitution.
Unfortunately, it's also the foundation upon which everything else is built and once it began to erode, our whole house inevitably began to crumble.
Looking back now, it's pretty obvious that our trust in government declined at about the same rate as our partisanship increased. People became so concerned about getting their party
into power at any cost that the truth didn't even seem to matter anymore.
That's probably one of the reasons why George Washington hated the idea of political parties so much. Here's what he said about them in his 1796 farewell speech:
"The alternate domination of one faction over another,
sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension,
which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the
most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism.
But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism.
The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds
of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an
individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction,
more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this
disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins
of public liberty. "
I know that George had a habit for using big words, so allow me to translate into 2008 English: Political parties that put their own success over that of the country's will be the death of America.
If you don't believe him yet, just wait a few more years...you're about to see firsthand how right he was. After all, if power corrupts, then the kind of absolute power gained by political parties (and feared by Washington) corrupts absolutely.
The best advice I can give you is to stop thinking in terms of left and right and start thinking in terms of right and wrong. Demand the best leaders possible, and then demand the best out of them.
Believe me, when you see what's coming your way, you'll realize how little the donkey and the elephant really ever mattered. Oh and while we're on politics, one quick thing that I'm sure you're curious about: Yes, Robert Byrd is still in the Senate. He's 159, but doesn't look a day over 91.
Now, let's talk about the economy. Let me see if I have this right: Money and power made people greedy, so you decided to hand over a bunch of money and power to greedy politicians instead. Smart! After using that money to nationalize a bunch of banks, mortgage companies and insurance companies, they moved on to bigger things.
The airlines came first -- we just couldn't live without them. Then it was the automakers (Detroit would've died), health care (they said they could manage it better), and eventually, the oil companies (I'm not sure where all of those "windfall profits" have gone).
The idea behind it all (an idea that was eventually turned into law with the passage of the Securities Exchange Act of 2011) was to "socialize losses" by spreading them out among all taxpayers. The pain, our leaders argued, would be minimal that way.
They were right. At least until the bills came due.
See, we didn't actually have any of the money we were promising everyone; we were borrowing it.
It didn't take long before so many of our tax dollars were going toward interest payments that we couldn't fund even the most basic of government programs without massive tax increases
on everyone. People now work most of the year just to pay Uncle Sam (or, as we now call him, "Comrade Sam").
I hear the State censors coming, so let me leave you with a few other quick things:
• Good call on not worrying about protecting our borders. That works out really well for you in 2019.
• You might want to spend a little less time worrying about carbon and a little more time worrying about Iran. We're now in a new mini-Ice Age but, believe me, Iran isn't using their
nukes to warm any homes. (PS The International Atomic Energy Agency just revealed to you that Iran appears to be refitting their long-range missiles to carry nuclear payloads. Did you think they were joking or were you just too busy with lipsticks and pigs to notice?)
• The currency of the future is energy. Those who have it are thriving and those who don't -- well, let's just leave it at that.
Drill for all the oil you can, but you also better start seriously looking for some other options.
In closing, remember this golden rule and you should be fine:
Your Constitution will never fail you, but your leaders will. Be wary of anyone who tries to convince you that it's the other way around.
Best wishes (you're going to need them),
Worker 2744A
PS It's not all socialist doom and gloom here in the future.
We just thawed Ted Williams' cryogenically frozen body and he hit 87 home runs for the North Team!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's note: Glenn Beck is host of a conservative
national radio talk show.
Glenn Beck says the decisions Washington makes today
could have fateful consequences for the future.
Friday, August 8, 2008
So I know he can dance!
Last night was the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance". I had predicted ever since the first time I saw the auditions that Stephen "Twitch" Boss was going to take the WHOLE thing! Well, I was close....
See, like I mentioned in a post before, I have known Twitch for about 6 years. I remember meeting him at the 2nd workshop Wade held at the Hilton in Universal City. We had both seen each other dance that day & I went up to him to tell him that I thought he was one of the most amazing dancers I had ever seen! He said thank you & told me that he was impressed by my dancing abilities as well (but seriously, mine are NOTHING compared to him!).
About a month or so later, I was flipping through the channels and landed on CBS. The show "Star Search" was back on TV with new host Arsenio Hall. For some reason, RIGHT when I landed on the channel, not only was it the dancing competition part but of all people on there, it was Twitch! Total randomness!
So, a few more months pass and now there have been auditions for Wade's show on MTV. There were a few but the real honest to goodness audition was held in LA at the Highlands club in Hollywood & Highland. Well, what do you know??? Twitch is RIGHT in front of me! For the whole day, we hung out & auditioned in the same group. We both even moved on to the next round together! *At first, they were kinda getting my hopes up, making me think they were going to have me on it as a contestant. Wade and a few of the people thought that it was great for someone my size could not only dance but would also be a motivating factor for other plus size people to go out & follow their dreams. In the end, they picked some girl who was a lil big (but not really) and basically had her saying what I told them in regards of being plus size & a dancer. Pissed me off & it hurt yet held my head high & just continued on attending the show.
Well, after a month of attending the show and schmoozing it up with the people at MTV, a friend of mine & I were in charge of check in! We also were in charge of the audience holding room! It's crazy what happens when you're just an outgoing & talkative people! Anyways, since I was basically behind the scenes, we would get to talk to & hang out with the contestants. Between the show & Wade still having dance class, all the regulars at class had become pretty close. This was in 2003, which I feel is so far the best year of my life.
Here's Twitch from Wade's show-
What I wanted to find but couldn't for the LIFE of me was when he came in 3rd on Wade's show. Not only was it a shock to EVERYONE but in the background, you hear someone literally yell, "WHAT!?!!?" Well, that person was me! I wish it was on the internet somewhere but after hours & hours of searching, I found NOTHING!
The last time I saw Twitch was about a year or so ago at the Choregrapher's Carnival that's held once a month in Hollywood at the Key Club. My friends and I always made sure to get the early cuz we 1- wanted to be RIGHT in front of the stage (like I'm leaning my body on the stage!) and 2- to say hi to everyone we know who would most likely be performing that night. When we walked in, within minutes, I hear, "ELIZABETH!!!" I turn & there's my dear sweet friend Stephan "Twitch" Boss. We run up & give each other the BIGGEST hug and let me just say, I am NOT a light person. Actually, I'm nowhere close to light and this guy basically lifts me off the ground! The man is just one solid muscle! Seriously, there's no way of finding any fat or loose skin on him! This was one of the performances he was in that night:
* BTW- it's pretty NSFW but it's TOTALLY worth watching! You can also see me for like 3 seconds in the front!
I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of him! When I saw him audition on SYTYCD for the second time that I knew he would go far! I even said he would win. Well, in my opinion, he did. One thing about the dance world, everyone is like a family. You can consider Twitch like the big brother who looks after everyone. He is the nicest, sweetest, most geniune guy you'll ever meet! His talent & personality alone will take him anywhere his heart desires. If for some reason anyone were to ever question how he is, well, this clip will show you exactly how he is a class act:
See, like I mentioned in a post before, I have known Twitch for about 6 years. I remember meeting him at the 2nd workshop Wade held at the Hilton in Universal City. We had both seen each other dance that day & I went up to him to tell him that I thought he was one of the most amazing dancers I had ever seen! He said thank you & told me that he was impressed by my dancing abilities as well (but seriously, mine are NOTHING compared to him!).
About a month or so later, I was flipping through the channels and landed on CBS. The show "Star Search" was back on TV with new host Arsenio Hall. For some reason, RIGHT when I landed on the channel, not only was it the dancing competition part but of all people on there, it was Twitch! Total randomness!
So, a few more months pass and now there have been auditions for Wade's show on MTV. There were a few but the real honest to goodness audition was held in LA at the Highlands club in Hollywood & Highland. Well, what do you know??? Twitch is RIGHT in front of me! For the whole day, we hung out & auditioned in the same group. We both even moved on to the next round together! *At first, they were kinda getting my hopes up, making me think they were going to have me on it as a contestant. Wade and a few of the people thought that it was great for someone my size could not only dance but would also be a motivating factor for other plus size people to go out & follow their dreams. In the end, they picked some girl who was a lil big (but not really) and basically had her saying what I told them in regards of being plus size & a dancer. Pissed me off & it hurt yet held my head high & just continued on attending the show.
Well, after a month of attending the show and schmoozing it up with the people at MTV, a friend of mine & I were in charge of check in! We also were in charge of the audience holding room! It's crazy what happens when you're just an outgoing & talkative people! Anyways, since I was basically behind the scenes, we would get to talk to & hang out with the contestants. Between the show & Wade still having dance class, all the regulars at class had become pretty close. This was in 2003, which I feel is so far the best year of my life.
Here's Twitch from Wade's show-
What I wanted to find but couldn't for the LIFE of me was when he came in 3rd on Wade's show. Not only was it a shock to EVERYONE but in the background, you hear someone literally yell, "WHAT!?!!?" Well, that person was me! I wish it was on the internet somewhere but after hours & hours of searching, I found NOTHING!
The last time I saw Twitch was about a year or so ago at the Choregrapher's Carnival that's held once a month in Hollywood at the Key Club. My friends and I always made sure to get the early cuz we 1- wanted to be RIGHT in front of the stage (like I'm leaning my body on the stage!) and 2- to say hi to everyone we know who would most likely be performing that night. When we walked in, within minutes, I hear, "ELIZABETH!!!" I turn & there's my dear sweet friend Stephan "Twitch" Boss. We run up & give each other the BIGGEST hug and let me just say, I am NOT a light person. Actually, I'm nowhere close to light and this guy basically lifts me off the ground! The man is just one solid muscle! Seriously, there's no way of finding any fat or loose skin on him! This was one of the performances he was in that night:
* BTW- it's pretty NSFW but it's TOTALLY worth watching! You can also see me for like 3 seconds in the front!
I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of him! When I saw him audition on SYTYCD for the second time that I knew he would go far! I even said he would win. Well, in my opinion, he did. One thing about the dance world, everyone is like a family. You can consider Twitch like the big brother who looks after everyone. He is the nicest, sweetest, most geniune guy you'll ever meet! His talent & personality alone will take him anywhere his heart desires. If for some reason anyone were to ever question how he is, well, this clip will show you exactly how he is a class act:
So congrats to someone who I may not see all the time yet know that he is the epitome of a man with the biggest heart & soul out there in the dance world!
me =)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Slapped in the face, Vol. 2
**WARNING- The following post contains VERY graphic language and is not for the faint of heart or prudes. If the "F" and even "C" (oh yeah, I'm going there....) words are bothersome to you, then you may not want to continue on. Just wanted to give a fair warning that way people aren't like, "Damn, what the hell is her problem!?" Well, you're about to find out....**
You know, I made the category "Slapped in the Face" for the times that I have been really screwed and basically taken advantage of in the past. I didn't think that I would have a present example but I do and let me tell you, I'm infuriated! Actually, more disappointed, hurt and crushed but still infuriated. Let me tell you a lil story.....
Long time ago, I had (yes, had) a friend who I had known since 7th grade. Since then, I knew she used me for my acquired math skills but that was after she would make fun behind and even sometimes, in front of me. When she realized how good I was in Math, she then became my friend and I stupidly went along with it. Through out the years, she would continue ever so often but after awhile, more of an actual friendship happened and the "making fun of me" would only happen once in a while but she still would. Cut to after high school (which we didn't even go to the same school), we still talked and hung out. She started getting into these horrible relationships and she also started doing "shit" (aka- speed, meth, whatever you want to call it!) I, being the "pendeja" (<-- basically "stupid sap" in Spanish) that I am, I was there for her. I was always there when she needed someone to pick her up when she would be kicked out of her parents or even with whatever boyfriend kicked her out and even stupider, would take her to get her "shit". I never "shit" with her cuz I felt like I had enough health problems as it was and I didn't need to mess myself up anymore! Anyways, She then was introduced, by HO of all people, to "Him", the one who changed her life in more ways than one.
Everything really went downhill when "She" met "Him". "Him" would hit her, treat her like shit and "She" would just eat it up. There was one time he actually hit her in front of me and I was just furious and I started yelling at him. He then asked me if I wanted the same thing and started coming after me. Well, like I've mentioned before, don't fuck with me or the ones who are close to me cuz I'll go off! When he came towards me, I put my arms up and grabbed his, put them behind his back, pushed him to the ground and said, "Like I fucking said! You come after me, her or any other woman like that again and I will kill you!!!" and then proceeded to push him to the ground and kick him while I was at it, too. From that day on, he knew not to fuck with me yet when they felt they needed to leave here and move out of state to the middle of nowhere, there was nothing I could do to try and protect her. He one time literally almost killed her, having a knife to her neck and not letting her breath, but she then was able to move her legs and kicked him in the balls. I believe that's the only reason why "She's" alive today! Yet for some reason, after every fight, they would end up with each other once again.
"She" was, how do I say this politely, "loose, easy, had lots of sex with everyone known to man"?!? Yet she had NEVER gotten pregnant. She hated using condoms, wasn't on birth control, and would have it morning, noon and night, rain or shine, period or no period! It seemed like there was NEVER a time where she wasn't doing it! We even had the discussion that we thought that she was infertile and couldn't have a baby! Well, what do you know??? She actually gets pregnant by "Him". I didn't believe it until she showed me the slip from Planned Parenthood. She took that as a sign that "She" & "Him" were meant to be. As "She" would say, "I mean, why him? I could have gotten pregnant by anyone else but I got pregnant by him. It's a sign...." Yeah, a sign "She" was a moron!
During her pregnancy, she was out of state so I wasn't around to really see how she was doing. We would talk on occasion but there was nothing I could do from here. About a week away from her due date, I got a call from not only her but from her folks. Turns out that "Him" got pissed about SOMETHING (who knows what but it was always something really stupid!) and he pushed her around, thankfully she landed on the bed. "She" was able to run (waddle) out of the place yet while "She" drove away, he threw rocks at the car windows and broke the back driver's window and the passenger window. Her & her folks called me to go and pick her up. They were paying for my plane ticket and then they gave me gas money to drive her and ALL the baby stuff back here. I did it with basically a 16-18 hr. notice. When I left the next day to drive our to her dad's place, I just told my folks I was going to San Diego for the weekend to visit PH (that's where she was living at the time) and that I would be back in a few days. <--(*note- I didn't end up telling my folks I did that for about a year.....)
So there I was, up to the middle of nowhere to pick up my pregnant friend that was about a week away from her due date in a little 2-door car with broken windows, 16 hr. drive and for about 10 of the hrs. with NO reception on my cell phone! At one point, we were in Oregon, going over this lil bridge and we randomly saw a stork. Like a legit, what you see in the movie "Dumbo" and "Father of the Bride 2", stork! I said to her, "Oh wow, look! A stork!". "She" was pretty surprised to and then it hit me. I turned my head, eyes as wide as possible and said to her, "Don't you DARE have this baby right now!!! We're in the middle of nowhere, have NO supplies and no cell reception!!! Don't even THINK about having this baby right now!!!" She didn't (thank god) but still........ It was scary.
Once I got her home, I basically took care of her til the baby came out. Took her to all her dr. appts., got to see the baby in the ultrasound, even got to hear the baby's heartbeat and have hiccups! Seemed like at least once a day I took her out to eat somewhere! I mean, I took my job seriously in taking care of her. All I asked was that I would be able to be there when the baby was born. Well, she went WAY over her due date and ended up having the baby about 2 weeks after the due date. Coincidentally, I was leaving to go to Meixco City with "HO" the day before they induced her. I was just heartbroken. I wanted to be there SOOOO bad when that baby came out and now I had to jump on a plane and miss it. When I went to wish her luck and to tell her to leave me messages on my phone once the baby came out, I was crying. I even for some reason apologized cuz I couldn't be there yet it didn't matter since........ "She" had "Him" come from out of state to be there for the baby's birth!!! So even if I was there when she went into labor, I couldn't be in there cuz HE WAS THERE!!!! I couldn't believe she did that! "Him" wasn't even suppose to come near her, let alone leave the state he was in! It was the only thing I hated about the birthing video <--(Oh yeah! There was video and it was FANTASTIC! It was all over the shoulder, so you couldn't see THAT and her reactions were the BEST!!! I took everyone I knew to watch it cuz it was great!). Right when I got back from Mexico City, I went home, dropped off my stuff and me & my hair, which still in place from the night before (they're hardcore when it comes to doing hair over there! And it only cost $10!!! They probably used every dangerous chemical and poo in my hair but it looked good....), went over to see the baby.
I knew the minute I saw him that he was the most amazing child born. He was perfect in every way. I remember when I first got to hold him and feed him, while watching the greatest birthing video alive, I said to him,"Always remember that I love you and I will ALWAYS be here for you, no matter what". From then on, I considered him as if he was part of me.
I would go over everyday. "She" and I got close again and I was there every moment I could to help her with the baby. In truth though, it really wasn't tough. I truly feel he has me spoiled for whenever I end up having kids cuz I only hope they're as good as he was! Really, it was crazy how much of a good baby he was! Everyone knows I'm a BIG advocate of not taking kids out of the house until they're a double digit age but with the baby, it didn't matter! We would run down everything we had to do for the day and I would end it saying, "Well, let's take the baby." We would go shopping for hours and whatnot and he would just kick it in the stroller, smiling and getting all the attention he could want! So many people would make the comment that he was so well behaved and I would flat out say, "Oh, we know!". Well, that was one of the things "She" hated that I would do, that I would say "we". "She" said when I said that we sounded like we were a lesbian couple! I didn't mean that but I could see why she would get pissed so I had to change what I would say.
Once the baby was born, "She" kinda got back into drugs ("shit, speed, meth"...whatever!). "She" always said one of the main reasons why she did it was to lose weight.... yeah..... I'm really trying not to be a bitch and I am going to preface this by saying that I don't talk shit, I only tell the truth-- Honestly, for as much as she did,"She" was the only person I had EVER met that never lost a significant amount of weight while doing drugs! It was crazy! Well, since she started again and I was stupid, I would tell her that I would watch the baby while she went out. I even gave her my cell phone just in case she needed me or I needed her in regards to the baby. One night though, I honestly thought she was dead. I called her god knows how many times. She said she was going to be about an hour or so and when it was almost the 4 hr. mark, I really started to freak out. I was ready to call hospitals yet LBS was with me and she just flat out said to call her mom. So I did. Finally, at about 3:30-ish in the morning, she came back and the first thing out of her mouth was, "YOU CALLED MY MOM!?!?". Not a "I'm so sorry." or "I couldn't hear the phone." or "I was teleported to another world with no reception".... Nope, just pissed cuz i ratted her out. That's when she started holding the baby against me and not let me see him. She knew that it would kill me if I wasn't around him and that's what she did. There would be maybe one or two times where we would make up and start talking again but something would happen and we wouldn't speak.
I think the big thing to happen would be that she actually started getting serious with "HO", who , if I failed to mentioned, was "Him's" BEST FRIEND and the one who introduced "She" & "Him"! Yes, best friend and former square dancing partner at Outdoor Ed, "HO". Well, there's a reason why I call "HO", well "HO"! Long story short (cuz this whole post isn't long enough as it is!), "HO" got with one of my friends from dance class and because I'm stupid and naive, when "She" asked me if there was something going on between "HO" and my friend, I just told her. Why? I don't know. I just did and as it is, it took "HO" and I a few years to get over the WHOLE situation. But, at first, she thanked me for letting her know and then made it seem like it was MY fault "HO" and my friend did it! ANYWAYS... The whole point- I was the bad guy, again!
Cut to now- "She" and "HO" actually got married (I wasn't invited), they have their own kid (aka- Satan's spawn), and they're kinda miserable but that's just the sense I get from them. The baby (not SS, the "in my eyes" perfect one) just turned 6...... In all the years he's been alive, I've been to 1 birthday party, which was his first. I had gotten used to the fact that I never got to see him or attend anything he did in school or in sports yet I saw something today that just made me lose it.
A while ago, "HO" had given me the blog to one of the baby's grandma's blogs cuz she would update every so often with stories and pics of the kids. It was my only way of having any connection with the baby. So since I knew yesterday (the 14th) was his birthday, just on a hunch, I checked out the blog to see if MAYBE she posted some pics of his birthday. Well, she did. He looked so sweet and happy. I was looking at all the pics when one caught my attention-- "She" invited people to her son's birthday that she used to do drugs with but now you know, they're mothers and their lives are different and whatnot & all the good shit. I was devastated. Granted the pic that I saw was of one of my good friends that I still talk to every so often, it just made me so sad that I, who was not only there for "She" but her baby, the baby who changed not only my life but everyone's around him! I don't know why but I just lost it. I mean, I was almost inconsolable and it made everyone around me feel bad. They tried cheering me up but it took driving and realizing that my life will be MUCH better than hers in the long run to make me feel somewhat better...... It literally felt as if she came over and slapped me across the face when I saw that pic.....
**UPDATE** 10:45pm- So.... It turns out that when I informed LBS about the party/pic I saw and LBS knew how much it hurt me, she actually called "She" and left a voice message! We got to Vegas at approx. 6-ish and then just kicked it for awhile. When we were eating, she got a callback from "She"! I just sat there in a quiet shock while LBS talked to her.
According to LBS, the reasons that "She" gave why she doesn't want me around or really in her life is that I'm too opinionated..... Ummm, duh! I know I am and yes, I sometimes don't know when to shut up YET what "She" doesn't like is how I voice my opinion on "Him", you know, the guy who basically killed her and was the sperm donor to the baby??? Yeah.... What good could I say about him?! He's NEVER been in the baby's life, "HO" has done SUCH an amazing job on the baby that the baby actually thinks "HO" is his real dad, and for crying out loud, "Him" treated "She" like shit! The ONLY good thing that EVER came out of the whole thing was that amazing baby came out basically perfect! You know, it's something I've noticed about people who really shouldn't have kids but when they do, they're mindblowingly perfect and amazing??? Anyways, "She" made it seem like I was talking shit about her husband and not the person who just provided the sperm & almost killed her! I have NEVER heard her defend or be grateful for her ACTUAL husband the way I heard her defend that asshole who's in jail til the baby is about, oh, 18-20, at the EARLIEST!!!! When LBS informed me of this, I took responsibility for about 10-25% of my actions towards being opinionated and not knowing when to shut up YET I and even LBS pointed out that why the HELL is she defending this stupid ignorant asshole so much??? Well, I did point out to LBS that I will go to my GRAVE saying that if she had a chance, she would go back to "Him". She is the epitome of a battered wife and either way, she's going to ruin that lil boy's life. "She" has full custody of the boy AND "HO" is actually on the verge of trying to adopt him yet "She" saves all the letters "Him" writes and "She" wants to tell the boy about his REAL father probably within the next few years.... Smart, huh??? Tell a 10-12 year old that the man who you thought was your father isn't and some scum of the earth who's basically rotting in jail is??? Brilliant.
So, in closing this BEYOND long post (Thank you to the 3 of you who probably took the time to read this WHOLE thing!), I end with an open letter to her:
To you-
I would like to thank you. It only took about 14 years yet I truly see what/who/how you are as a person. I now see and understand that because of the insecurities you suffered ever since you were a child with a mix of being the most spoiled brat who got whatever she wanted and never appreciated anything that came to her is apparent to the way you are today. You think everything is suppose to be simple? You think everything should go your way? Well, think again. Actually I don't think I have to say that since you're now living in what YOU made for yourself!
I wish a few things for you:
1- To realize how lucky you are to have the man that you call your husband. Don't take him for granted yet I think it's too late to say that since it seems like you really never did appreciate anything he ever did. He stopped his life to help you & the baby and yeah, he fucked up but guess what??? YOU decided to stay. YOU could have left. YOU could have proven to EVERYONE how you matured once you had the baby and made a good life for the both of you without depending on anyone to support you financially. If the day ever comes that you can see "Him" and you actually do, you will be the stupidest cunt ALIVE!!!!!
and 2- Really realize that you gave birth to a truly amazing son. You may think he's a good kid but I don't think you actually realize how you hit the jackpot with him! I would die to have a child like him! I only DREAM of literally having a child JUST LIKE HIM! You will never know how many times I thought it was not fair you had him, that he is yours cuz in truth, you don't deserve to have a child like him! YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING!!!!!!
We had our moments in life but I am officially done. I want NOTHING to do with you and it kills me to say that since I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to talk to a friend who was once one of my best friends (HO) and especially since I won't be around for the baby. As weird as you may think it is, I truly felt I had a connection with him. From dreams to things in common, there was just something about him & I. Now that lil boy has no recollection of who I am and that is the one thing that I'll always hate that you did to me. I would have seriously rather you shoot me than take the boy out of my life.
So, in the future, when you're not sure about lil things like unemployment, IRAs and lil shit like that, why don't you see if you have any brain cells left and try to figure it out yourself! Most likely you won't and you'll just get screwed like always. It shouldn't be too bad since it's something you should be used....
So long.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
On this day....
....6 years ago, I did the hardest thing ever in my life. I had to put down my first dog.
Yeah, I know. You're probably thinking, "Well, that happens to everyone & it's hard but not the hardest thing. What's your problem???" Well, to me, someone who waited 17 years to have their first dog EVER, it was harder than you could EVER imagine.
So I hope you're comfortable and have a snack and drink cuz this is a LONG one! Sit back, read, and soak in all that is about my baby, Boo Boo....
I still remember the day when I was 2 asking my folks for a dog. They said no. Through out the years, they would warm up to the idea yet they would have mixed opinions on if it should be an inside or outside dog, how big of a dog and all that good shit. Finally, on Christmas of 2000 (When I was 19!), one of my gifts was a letter letting me know I could have any dog I wanted. Well, I went on a search! What I've always wanted (since I was about 9-10 years old) was an English Bulldog, before they became as super popular as they are now! Since I knew my folks didn't want to spend $2000 on a dog, I looked for alternatives routes in possibly getting a rescued bulldog or maybe something else in the bulldog family.
Then one day, my cousin sent me an online classified listings for bulldogs in OC. The first one I saw was for an American Bulldog in the Westminster/Garden Grove area (which is about 15 mins away from my house). I called the people and they said I could go over and see him. Well, it turned out where I went was a lil' part of the area called "Little Saigon". The house was kinda shady looking and the guys were even shadier. I walk in and see this 10 week old dog that was about 20 lbs.! He looked like "Petey" from the "Little Rascals" and man, he was HUGE! They informed me they named the dog "T-Bone" so I started to call him by his name but he didn't budge. Found out that I would be the 3rd owner to this poor animal in his short lil life. Poor thing was scared. I, of course went by myself (dumb ass move), asked about where they got him (from a breeder; they were "waiting on the papers"), got to know the dog, stayed for about an hr. and after seeing the dog and the living conditions he was in, I just said, "I'll take him." I asked if they could send me the papers or if I could even come by to pick them up when they got them and they said, "Sure". <--(We'll get to that soon....) So I called my folks to know that I was bringing home a dog. They were shocked but they were ok with it. When I got home and my mom saw how big his paws were, she was like, "Oh shit. He's going to be a big boy!" Well, she was right! I took him to the vet literally every week for the first few weeks I had him, just to make sure he was ok since where he came from was so dirty & shady. He was fine & every week he was gaining like 10 lbs! Before I knew it, when he was about 3 months, he was 60 lbs but PURE muscle! At first, he was still very nervous and sketchy yet after awhile, he knew we were his family. If anything, the more he & I were around each other, the more him & I were like the same person! I don't know if an animal & a human could be alike but we sure were! People were afraid of him cuz he looked like he could eat them but if they only knew he was just as afraid (maybe even more than them), LBS and I came up with the name "Boo Boo". He taught himself to jump onto my bed, which at that time, was at least 3 & 1/2 feet above the ground! So here was this big ass dog & my manatee ass on a twin size bed! I don't know how we did it but it worked and we slept like that every night! I also taught him how to sit, stay, catch food (Favorite Food- French Fries, especially Jack in the Box fries) in his mouth but my favorite was that he knew how & when to give a kiss when someone would ask. He was just amazing.
I have to say, maybe for the fact that he was basically around me all the time, he didn't act like your "normal" dog. This was some dog! Boo Boo LOVED car rides more than any other dog I have EVER known! He would sit as if he had a seat belt on! He even went as far as going 2 exits away from Mexico with me and being cool the whole way there and back! I was able to take him anywhere and everywhere and I LOVED doing that! Oh and Ladies, if you ever want to get checked out by guys, get an American Bulldog or some kind of good looking BIG dog! I can NOT tell you how many times I would see a guy tell me to roll down my window cuz they wanted to ask about my dog! Every time that ever happened to me, I would always turn around and say, "Thank you baby." and Boo Boo would just look at me confused.
Another thing that made him not a "normal" dog was that he hated going for walks. He, on more than several occasions, would either hide or chew up his leash! Thank God he did know how to walk to and from the car without running away! So instead of going on walks, every night around 11-ish, Boo Boo & I would go pick up "Ho", grab a Slurpee and then sit at an open field by my house and just let him run away until he was ready to go home. The great thing about that was all I had to do was say, "Ok baby, let's go." and he would just go straight back to the car. There were times when he would actually go back by himself and look at me like, "Alright let's go! I'm done." Those times at the park were the best. Me, Boo Boo, Ho, Slurpees, broken sprinklers (Thanks to Boo Boo), great talks with Ho and watching Boo Boo have a blast...... Those are some of the best memories. I keep those memories fresh in my mind because of how good they were and how I smile every time I think about them.......
I truly felt that Boo Boo thought he was human. Call me crazy (it's ok, I know) but I felt like him and I shared the same thoughts and feelings. At times, I felt he would be more patient with me than I would be with him. One day I'll never forget was when 9/11 happened. Like everyone else that day, Boo Boo & I just watched the TV for hours. At one point, he looked at me with this sad look on his face and I, with tears in my eyes, just said, "Yeah, I know". I then told him to watch the TV again and he did.
One thing that people could not deny was how he was with lil kids! For my cousin, who has SEVERE anger & attention issues, him & Boo Boo were the best of friends! He just knew how he was and my cousin knew how to be around him. Also, another cousin of mine was SUPER afraid of dogs, let alone this huge animal that looked like he could tear her apart within seconds and she would take him for walks all the time and just say, "Come on Puppy" and there he went. I think of anything, he did have something against adults though. I'm pretty certain he was abused by one or both of his past owners so he had major issues with most people who came over.
Well, if most of you don't know, Bulldogs have MAJOR health issues! The first thing that was a problem was his allergies. I would have to give him Benadryl about 2-4 times a day, depending on how much he would sneeze or scratch. Our backyard looked like we lived in Chernobyl and I, at the age of 19, had a curfew of midnight that way I would be home to give him his meds.! And let me tell you, if my ass wasn't inside at 12, my phone would ring! One time I was just about to open the door and my phone rang! I opened the door & said, "I'M HERE, CALM DOWN!". The longest I was ever away from him was 4 days, which was when I went on a plane for the first time, to Boston, with a friend. That was 4 months after 9/11 and man, was I freaked out going on a plane!!! All I told my friend on the way home was that I just wanted to get home to my baby.... I'll never forget when I got home, he zoomed down the stairs and just gave me all the kisses he could. I promised I would never leave him for that long again.....
Then, on December 26, 2002, we woke up and did our morning routine of going to the restroom yet when Boo Boo jumped off the bed, he kinda limped and tucked his back leg in. Since I took this dog to the vet every time he sneezed the wrong way, I rushed him to the vet..... They kept him there all day, doing every sort of test and at approx. 5:38 pm, while I was on my way to work, the vet called saying I needed to go over there. Called my work & told them I couldn't make it in and headed to the vet.
Once I got there, they informed me he had Hip Dysplacia in both of his hips. One was completely out and the other was on the verge. I was devastated. All I could do was cry. Then my sadness turned into anger. Of all the times I EVER took that dog in, knowing that Bulldogs have a history of this sort of thing, it NEVER occurred to them to test him, even just examine the area??? Man, I was LIVID and right then and there, I demanded a copy of his file and I was going to get a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately, every place I took him to, he was in so much pain and was also just plain scared that they would have to muzzle him. I just couldn't believe this was happening!
We randomly had a family get together and I was telling a 2nd cousin of mine about what was going on with Boo Boo & she recommended her vet. She couldn't stop talking about how great she was and maybe she could do something in helping the situation. So I called to make an appt. and the only appt. they had was when I was working. By the grace of GOD, LBS saw how depressed I was and offered to take him for me. I was BLOWN away just for the fact that 1- She has NO patience and 2- It's all about her........ I thanked her profusely yet I had to warn her to keep her cool and she had to be the epitome of patient. She needed to know that they may need to muzzle him and to just make him feel comfortable.
Man, you'll never know how nervous I was that day. I called right when I had a chance to see how the appt. went. Assuming that it was just going to be really hard and that they would have to muzzle him for the fact he probably snapped at the vet and that he couldn't get along with the staff, I called LBS really worried. These were LBS's exact words-- "Ummm... He couldn't stop giving her kisses." I started to cry..... From then on, we went to her and to this day we still go to her for the filthy animal we have now. Let's just say that if I were to move across the United States, I would make an effort to take my pets to her about once or twice a year need be! She's amazing and if you need a vet, ask me and I'll give you her info.
LBS really stepped up and I couldn't thank her enough for doing what she did for me! She did inform me that the vet said to really keep an eye on him because yeah, he can live through the pain (which I guess he has been doing since he was born) but if he started to become aggressive, we really needed to be more worried about that. The vet told us to give him aspirin twice a day, plus he also had his allergy meds so this poor thing was just a pill popper! At least he was really good at actually digesting his meds.
Through out the next month or so, we went to check out how much it would be to actually fix the hips. We had 2 options- 1, Taking out the ball from the socket and having him go through physical therapy: that costing a mere 3,000 grand per hip.... or 2, Having him become the "Bionic" dog and replacing the whole ball and socket yet knowing that 9 out of 10 times, it fails: that costing 5,000 PER hip! You would think when spending that much money, that shit would be good & legit! Then, he did become very aggressive towards people coming over. We would have to lock him up and he would be so upset. I felt horrible. I didn't want this for my baby so I would spend as much time as I could with him.
Well, towards the end of March of 2002, his aggressive was getting so bad, he started turning on my mom & I. We were to closest to him and he was turning on us. I then talked about it was my family and some friends and I came to the realization that I really shouldn't be selfish and think of "just me". What about Boo Boo? What about all the pain & suffering he's going through? He's lashing out and becoming a violent dog because of the excruciating pain he was in. I then called the amazing vet and asked her how much of a horrible person I would be if I put him down. She told me that I would be actually a good person because I would be thinking of his well being and that he wouldn't be suffering anymore. I then decided that it was time.
On Wednesday, April 17th, I laid in bed with Boo Boo all day. Watched TV, gave him his favorite fries from Jack in the Box, and just cuddled with him, giving him all the kisses I could. At around 4:15, I left, uncontrollably sobbing, to pick up Ho to go with me to do what was best. By the way, Ho, if you're reading this, you know how I will always have the up most respect and love for you going with me that day. We arrive at the vet around 5-ish and they take us in Room 2. They sedated Boo Boo that way he would be relaxed when they did it. Now, here's the semi-kicker: Both Ho & I were there when they put him down. Now, I know, I have admitted it more times than not, that I am a masochist yet I knew if I just dropped him off that the last image in my head would be him trying to come back to me and damn if I was going to live a life with that in my mind!
When they brought him back into the room, I asked him to give me a kiss.... He did. He then laid across my lap as I just cried and held him. The doctor came in and she gave him the shot. It took about 5-7 mins. She took his pulse after that time and she informed Ho and I that he had passed. I laid there for about 30 mins afterwards and just cried. Even Ho, who's the epitome of trying to be a hard ass, couldn't hold back the tears. Ho then got me off the ground and he drove me home. Ho actually took me to another park (the now infamous, "Brown Bagging" park) and we had a Slurpee. I was ok after a while. The next few days were really tough though.
Then, my sadness and depression turned into anger and rage. I told Ho that we needed to go to the people who I got Boo Boo from and ask about the "papers" I was suppose to get, informing of any problems or history and whatnot about him! So we go over there and they never answered the door. I even tried calling them and never heard back from them. To this day, nothing. There was nothing much I could do from there.
A few months later, I found out about how people were getting dogs from Mexico that were sick and selling them here for like NOTHING. It was a pretty big news report here (SoCal) and I just figured that's what happened to me. I got a dog, who was sick, and was taken advantage. But I can't really say I was totally taken advantage because the time that I did have Boo Boo, I was truly the happiest girl you would ever see. I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. The reason I had Boo Boo was to give him the best life he could have and he was here to show me how to become a stronger person. After everything that I went through with him, I truly feel that I am a stronger person for having him in my life.
Last year, for the 5th anniversary, I got dog paws tattooed on me. I saw them one thing somewhere and I cut them out and held on to them in my wallet until last year. They're on my back and they look like they're walking. So now, I like to say that he's always with me whatever I go in life.
Now that I have been crying like no other while typing at work, I should end this but I want to end saying this- No matter what happens to me or how many pets I may have in my life, I will always think of Boo Boo, my baby. He was my first and I will always hold a special place for him in my heart.
me. =:::)
Yeah, I know. You're probably thinking, "Well, that happens to everyone & it's hard but not the hardest thing. What's your problem???" Well, to me, someone who waited 17 years to have their first dog EVER, it was harder than you could EVER imagine.
So I hope you're comfortable and have a snack and drink cuz this is a LONG one! Sit back, read, and soak in all that is about my baby, Boo Boo....
I still remember the day when I was 2 asking my folks for a dog. They said no. Through out the years, they would warm up to the idea yet they would have mixed opinions on if it should be an inside or outside dog, how big of a dog and all that good shit. Finally, on Christmas of 2000 (When I was 19!), one of my gifts was a letter letting me know I could have any dog I wanted. Well, I went on a search! What I've always wanted (since I was about 9-10 years old) was an English Bulldog, before they became as super popular as they are now! Since I knew my folks didn't want to spend $2000 on a dog, I looked for alternatives routes in possibly getting a rescued bulldog or maybe something else in the bulldog family.
Then one day, my cousin sent me an online classified listings for bulldogs in OC. The first one I saw was for an American Bulldog in the Westminster/Garden Grove area (which is about 15 mins away from my house). I called the people and they said I could go over and see him. Well, it turned out where I went was a lil' part of the area called "Little Saigon". The house was kinda shady looking and the guys were even shadier. I walk in and see this 10 week old dog that was about 20 lbs.! He looked like "Petey" from the "Little Rascals" and man, he was HUGE! They informed me they named the dog "T-Bone" so I started to call him by his name but he didn't budge. Found out that I would be the 3rd owner to this poor animal in his short lil life. Poor thing was scared. I, of course went by myself (dumb ass move), asked about where they got him (from a breeder; they were "waiting on the papers"), got to know the dog, stayed for about an hr. and after seeing the dog and the living conditions he was in, I just said, "I'll take him." I asked if they could send me the papers or if I could even come by to pick them up when they got them and they said, "Sure". <--(We'll get to that soon....) So I called my folks to know that I was bringing home a dog. They were shocked but they were ok with it. When I got home and my mom saw how big his paws were, she was like, "Oh shit. He's going to be a big boy!" Well, she was right! I took him to the vet literally every week for the first few weeks I had him, just to make sure he was ok since where he came from was so dirty & shady. He was fine & every week he was gaining like 10 lbs! Before I knew it, when he was about 3 months, he was 60 lbs but PURE muscle! At first, he was still very nervous and sketchy yet after awhile, he knew we were his family. If anything, the more he & I were around each other, the more him & I were like the same person! I don't know if an animal & a human could be alike but we sure were! People were afraid of him cuz he looked like he could eat them but if they only knew he was just as afraid (maybe even more than them), LBS and I came up with the name "Boo Boo". He taught himself to jump onto my bed, which at that time, was at least 3 & 1/2 feet above the ground! So here was this big ass dog & my manatee ass on a twin size bed! I don't know how we did it but it worked and we slept like that every night! I also taught him how to sit, stay, catch food (Favorite Food- French Fries, especially Jack in the Box fries) in his mouth but my favorite was that he knew how & when to give a kiss when someone would ask. He was just amazing.
I have to say, maybe for the fact that he was basically around me all the time, he didn't act like your "normal" dog. This was some dog! Boo Boo LOVED car rides more than any other dog I have EVER known! He would sit as if he had a seat belt on! He even went as far as going 2 exits away from Mexico with me and being cool the whole way there and back! I was able to take him anywhere and everywhere and I LOVED doing that! Oh and Ladies, if you ever want to get checked out by guys, get an American Bulldog or some kind of good looking BIG dog! I can NOT tell you how many times I would see a guy tell me to roll down my window cuz they wanted to ask about my dog! Every time that ever happened to me, I would always turn around and say, "Thank you baby." and Boo Boo would just look at me confused.
Another thing that made him not a "normal" dog was that he hated going for walks. He, on more than several occasions, would either hide or chew up his leash! Thank God he did know how to walk to and from the car without running away! So instead of going on walks, every night around 11-ish, Boo Boo & I would go pick up "Ho", grab a Slurpee and then sit at an open field by my house and just let him run away until he was ready to go home. The great thing about that was all I had to do was say, "Ok baby, let's go." and he would just go straight back to the car. There were times when he would actually go back by himself and look at me like, "Alright let's go! I'm done." Those times at the park were the best. Me, Boo Boo, Ho, Slurpees, broken sprinklers (Thanks to Boo Boo), great talks with Ho and watching Boo Boo have a blast...... Those are some of the best memories. I keep those memories fresh in my mind because of how good they were and how I smile every time I think about them.......
I truly felt that Boo Boo thought he was human. Call me crazy (it's ok, I know) but I felt like him and I shared the same thoughts and feelings. At times, I felt he would be more patient with me than I would be with him. One day I'll never forget was when 9/11 happened. Like everyone else that day, Boo Boo & I just watched the TV for hours. At one point, he looked at me with this sad look on his face and I, with tears in my eyes, just said, "Yeah, I know". I then told him to watch the TV again and he did.
One thing that people could not deny was how he was with lil kids! For my cousin, who has SEVERE anger & attention issues, him & Boo Boo were the best of friends! He just knew how he was and my cousin knew how to be around him. Also, another cousin of mine was SUPER afraid of dogs, let alone this huge animal that looked like he could tear her apart within seconds and she would take him for walks all the time and just say, "Come on Puppy" and there he went. I think of anything, he did have something against adults though. I'm pretty certain he was abused by one or both of his past owners so he had major issues with most people who came over.
Well, if most of you don't know, Bulldogs have MAJOR health issues! The first thing that was a problem was his allergies. I would have to give him Benadryl about 2-4 times a day, depending on how much he would sneeze or scratch. Our backyard looked like we lived in Chernobyl and I, at the age of 19, had a curfew of midnight that way I would be home to give him his meds.! And let me tell you, if my ass wasn't inside at 12, my phone would ring! One time I was just about to open the door and my phone rang! I opened the door & said, "I'M HERE, CALM DOWN!". The longest I was ever away from him was 4 days, which was when I went on a plane for the first time, to Boston, with a friend. That was 4 months after 9/11 and man, was I freaked out going on a plane!!! All I told my friend on the way home was that I just wanted to get home to my baby.... I'll never forget when I got home, he zoomed down the stairs and just gave me all the kisses he could. I promised I would never leave him for that long again.....
Then, on December 26, 2002, we woke up and did our morning routine of going to the restroom yet when Boo Boo jumped off the bed, he kinda limped and tucked his back leg in. Since I took this dog to the vet every time he sneezed the wrong way, I rushed him to the vet..... They kept him there all day, doing every sort of test and at approx. 5:38 pm, while I was on my way to work, the vet called saying I needed to go over there. Called my work & told them I couldn't make it in and headed to the vet.
Once I got there, they informed me he had Hip Dysplacia in both of his hips. One was completely out and the other was on the verge. I was devastated. All I could do was cry. Then my sadness turned into anger. Of all the times I EVER took that dog in, knowing that Bulldogs have a history of this sort of thing, it NEVER occurred to them to test him, even just examine the area??? Man, I was LIVID and right then and there, I demanded a copy of his file and I was going to get a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately, every place I took him to, he was in so much pain and was also just plain scared that they would have to muzzle him. I just couldn't believe this was happening!
We randomly had a family get together and I was telling a 2nd cousin of mine about what was going on with Boo Boo & she recommended her vet. She couldn't stop talking about how great she was and maybe she could do something in helping the situation. So I called to make an appt. and the only appt. they had was when I was working. By the grace of GOD, LBS saw how depressed I was and offered to take him for me. I was BLOWN away just for the fact that 1- She has NO patience and 2- It's all about her........ I thanked her profusely yet I had to warn her to keep her cool and she had to be the epitome of patient. She needed to know that they may need to muzzle him and to just make him feel comfortable.
Man, you'll never know how nervous I was that day. I called right when I had a chance to see how the appt. went. Assuming that it was just going to be really hard and that they would have to muzzle him for the fact he probably snapped at the vet and that he couldn't get along with the staff, I called LBS really worried. These were LBS's exact words-- "Ummm... He couldn't stop giving her kisses." I started to cry..... From then on, we went to her and to this day we still go to her for the filthy animal we have now. Let's just say that if I were to move across the United States, I would make an effort to take my pets to her about once or twice a year need be! She's amazing and if you need a vet, ask me and I'll give you her info.
LBS really stepped up and I couldn't thank her enough for doing what she did for me! She did inform me that the vet said to really keep an eye on him because yeah, he can live through the pain (which I guess he has been doing since he was born) but if he started to become aggressive, we really needed to be more worried about that. The vet told us to give him aspirin twice a day, plus he also had his allergy meds so this poor thing was just a pill popper! At least he was really good at actually digesting his meds.
Through out the next month or so, we went to check out how much it would be to actually fix the hips. We had 2 options- 1, Taking out the ball from the socket and having him go through physical therapy: that costing a mere 3,000 grand per hip.... or 2, Having him become the "Bionic" dog and replacing the whole ball and socket yet knowing that 9 out of 10 times, it fails: that costing 5,000 PER hip! You would think when spending that much money, that shit would be good & legit! Then, he did become very aggressive towards people coming over. We would have to lock him up and he would be so upset. I felt horrible. I didn't want this for my baby so I would spend as much time as I could with him.
Well, towards the end of March of 2002, his aggressive was getting so bad, he started turning on my mom & I. We were to closest to him and he was turning on us. I then talked about it was my family and some friends and I came to the realization that I really shouldn't be selfish and think of "just me". What about Boo Boo? What about all the pain & suffering he's going through? He's lashing out and becoming a violent dog because of the excruciating pain he was in. I then called the amazing vet and asked her how much of a horrible person I would be if I put him down. She told me that I would be actually a good person because I would be thinking of his well being and that he wouldn't be suffering anymore. I then decided that it was time.
On Wednesday, April 17th, I laid in bed with Boo Boo all day. Watched TV, gave him his favorite fries from Jack in the Box, and just cuddled with him, giving him all the kisses I could. At around 4:15, I left, uncontrollably sobbing, to pick up Ho to go with me to do what was best. By the way, Ho, if you're reading this, you know how I will always have the up most respect and love for you going with me that day. We arrive at the vet around 5-ish and they take us in Room 2. They sedated Boo Boo that way he would be relaxed when they did it. Now, here's the semi-kicker: Both Ho & I were there when they put him down. Now, I know, I have admitted it more times than not, that I am a masochist yet I knew if I just dropped him off that the last image in my head would be him trying to come back to me and damn if I was going to live a life with that in my mind!
When they brought him back into the room, I asked him to give me a kiss.... He did. He then laid across my lap as I just cried and held him. The doctor came in and she gave him the shot. It took about 5-7 mins. She took his pulse after that time and she informed Ho and I that he had passed. I laid there for about 30 mins afterwards and just cried. Even Ho, who's the epitome of trying to be a hard ass, couldn't hold back the tears. Ho then got me off the ground and he drove me home. Ho actually took me to another park (the now infamous, "Brown Bagging" park) and we had a Slurpee. I was ok after a while. The next few days were really tough though.
Then, my sadness and depression turned into anger and rage. I told Ho that we needed to go to the people who I got Boo Boo from and ask about the "papers" I was suppose to get, informing of any problems or history and whatnot about him! So we go over there and they never answered the door. I even tried calling them and never heard back from them. To this day, nothing. There was nothing much I could do from there.
A few months later, I found out about how people were getting dogs from Mexico that were sick and selling them here for like NOTHING. It was a pretty big news report here (SoCal) and I just figured that's what happened to me. I got a dog, who was sick, and was taken advantage. But I can't really say I was totally taken advantage because the time that I did have Boo Boo, I was truly the happiest girl you would ever see. I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason. The reason I had Boo Boo was to give him the best life he could have and he was here to show me how to become a stronger person. After everything that I went through with him, I truly feel that I am a stronger person for having him in my life.
Last year, for the 5th anniversary, I got dog paws tattooed on me. I saw them one thing somewhere and I cut them out and held on to them in my wallet until last year. They're on my back and they look like they're walking. So now, I like to say that he's always with me whatever I go in life.
Now that I have been crying like no other while typing at work, I should end this but I want to end saying this- No matter what happens to me or how many pets I may have in my life, I will always think of Boo Boo, my baby. He was my first and I will always hold a special place for him in my heart.
me. =:::)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Dude....
Yesterday was a weird & awkward day after work. Went home to meet up with mom & LBS cuz we were going to go shopping for a dress for LBS's birthday. It didn't hit for me (for SOME reason) that LBS was going to have mom pay for everything. I don't know why that bothers me so much but it does..... Anyways, the dress she got was SUPER cute. In a way, she looks like Kim Kardashin in the dress! So she got a dress, shoes, earrings and a crown to wear on Saturday night. She's going to a club that her "SO" (<--meaning "Significant Other", also known as the "Shit head" that he is to her) will be DJing at. I hope she has a good time but in the grand tradition of her Birthdays, we were discussing on how it was going to most likely turn to shit, probably thanks to her SO! But honestly, we're trying to be optimistic at the same time! I guess we won't know til Sunday how everything turns out. ANYWAYS! While we were at the mall yesterday, we also went to Nordstrom to get make up but to mainly get new shoes for my dad.
So, we went to the man's department to look and we found a good pair for my dad. We didn't even bother at looking at the price cuz we knew we wanted to get them no matter what. Also, not trying to sound conceited but in truth, we don't need to worry about money, especially since we save and only spend money on very important items/things (i.e.- good shoes for my dad!). We find a salesperson and ask if we can but these shoes in a 12 & the first thing out of his mouth was, "Um, you sure you want those? Did you see how much they cost?" At that point, my mom & I were startled and thankfully, my mom said, "I know they're not cheap but I buy these shoes all the time. So please sir, I need these in a 12."
We SO had a "Selena" moment! Ok, I don't know how many of you have ever seen the movie "Selena" but if you have, you know what I'm talking about. If not, rent it! It's Jennifer Lopez's breakout & peak performance rolled into one! Anyways, it really pissed me off how that guy just "assumed" we couldn't afford the shoes when we can buy & sell him a few times over!!! I told my mom to write a letter to Nordstrom's yet I don't know if she will......
So today is another date that for SOME ungodly reason I remember so well. I think it was for the simple fact that when it happened, it was SUCH an amazing thing. Too bad it turned out the way it did.....
On April 10th 2006, I was working for GE in Irvine, CA. It was in a beautiful building and had the most breathtaking views! I was a receptionist who literally just answered a phone and would basically have a thumb up my ass for most of the day! Got paid pretty good to do that too! Anyways, on this day 2 years ago, some people from the Chicago office came to teach some of our people how to use a new program & one of those people turned out to be a really, really nice guy. Possibly the nicest guy I have EVER met in my life. So nice, I swore he was gay! During his breaks, he would come to talk to me. When we would leave to go home (or him to the hotel across the street), he would walk me to my car. He asked me to lunch one day yet I couldn't cuz I took a lunch at a different time than everyone else. On April 12th, which is LBS's birthday, him & I talked about hanging out that night. I told him that I had to go out to eat for my sister's birthday but afterwards, we should definitely get together. Well, he had another idea. He said, "Well, if it's no problem, I could go with you." I was shocked! I have friends & family who don't even like going to eat with my family! (I was kidding!) I called my mom & asked her if it would be cool to bring someone (I had already told her about him) and she was thrilled! Since the place we went to eat at was down the street from my work, there was no point in going all the way home so I asked if we could hang out in his hotel room til dinner, which was at 7:30 & we got off at 5 from work! I was actually afraid, thinking if he tried to take advantage of being in a room or whatnot. Seriously, I don't know why I thought that cuz he was SOOOO nice!!! We ended up talking for about 2 hrs. about EVERYTHING!!! It was one of those amazing conversations that you only wish you could have everyday of your life..... We go to dinner & I introduce him to my mom, LBS, Cheech (<-- that's what I call LBS's boyfriend), my crazy aunt & laid back cousin AB (<-- His nickname is actually Asshole Bitch but it's just simpler to call him AB). Everyone loved him. My sister determined right then and there we were met for each other! We had lots in common (even ordering the same thing & not realizing it til it came out!) As the night went on, the more sad I got knowing he was going to leave tomorrow.
So the next day was harder than I expected. I was devastated and was in a way, heartbroken. Here was this amazing guy I had gotten to know in the past few days & now he's going home, which is 2000 miles away!!! He came to give me a hug goodbye & I did everything not to cry in front of him. Once he left though, it was over! I was crying like a bitch!!! Waterworks galore! Thank god I sat by myself in this HUGE hallway and hardly anyone came by. One of my friends did come by to check on me & she flat out said, "Forget lunch! Just go home an hour early!" I did.
When I left work, I was just drained. I knew I also had to go to the gym (This was when I was REALLY good & went to the gym EVERY night after work! I need to do that again...) & go to personal training.... My trainer even felt bad for me and was easy on me that day. Went home & cried with my mom saying how life sucked & all that good shit. After that, I took about a 5 hr. nap that felt like about 5 years!
It was 9:06 pm when I woke up. I went on myspace (cuz I'm addicted like everyone else) and saw I had a friend request and a new message. I sat there thinking, "who the hell sent me anything, let alone, who friend requested me???" Well, as it turned out, he paid attention the night before at dinner when I said that it was hard to find me on myspace. The only ways you could were through the high school I went to or by my display name. He went on, made an account, looked & found me. I screamed and ran downstairs to tell my family! That was a feeling I will never forget!!!
From there, we emailed each other EVERY DAY!!! About a month & a half later, I went there to see him. Met his whole family & all his friends. He took me ALL around Chicago (seriously, lil tip- when someone tells you to put on tennis shoes instead of your $2.50 flip flops from Old Navy, listen to them!), walked about 10 miles seeing Magnificent Mile, the Harbor, Navy Pier, Buckingham Fountain, Millennium Park..... EVERYWHERE!!!! It was such an amazing trip.
We took turns every month going to see each other. Everything was going great. Then I was let go from GE due to seniority in the position I was in. Things were still great.... until October.
One thing we did everyday was either send an email or a text, basically saying, "Hey. I'm alive & breathing. Have a good day." I was ok with that because to think that it would be realistic to be on the phone 3-5 times a day for an hour or so at a time with someone who was in a different time zone than you would be RIDICULOUS!!! We would mainly talk twice a week, usually on Thursday & Sunday nights. When the beginning of October rolled along, there was about 2 weeks that I had absolutely no contact with him. No calls, emails, text, pigeon with a note around its foot, flare in the air.....nothing! It was quite odd since we would at least have some kind of contact once a day! Finally, on October 19th, he called. We had about an hour conversation. It was nice. We even talked about him coming out that month. Everything seemed fine.
The next day, I emailed him. To this day, still waiting for a response to that email. October 19th of 2007 was the last time I ever heard from him. I would talk to his friends & his friends never said what was wrong. They were first confused like me but, like him, then they stopped contact too. It was quite odd and whenever people would ask what happened, I would say, "You tell me & we'll both know!" I make the joke with one of my friends that for all I know, I still have a boyfriend in Chicago! But yeah, that's what happened.
Well, that was basically it. I've been so out of it lately, I just feel like a zombie!
Only 5 days last...
me =)
So, we went to the man's department to look and we found a good pair for my dad. We didn't even bother at looking at the price cuz we knew we wanted to get them no matter what. Also, not trying to sound conceited but in truth, we don't need to worry about money, especially since we save and only spend money on very important items/things (i.e.- good shoes for my dad!). We find a salesperson and ask if we can but these shoes in a 12 & the first thing out of his mouth was, "Um, you sure you want those? Did you see how much they cost?" At that point, my mom & I were startled and thankfully, my mom said, "I know they're not cheap but I buy these shoes all the time. So please sir, I need these in a 12."
We SO had a "Selena" moment! Ok, I don't know how many of you have ever seen the movie "Selena" but if you have, you know what I'm talking about. If not, rent it! It's Jennifer Lopez's breakout & peak performance rolled into one! Anyways, it really pissed me off how that guy just "assumed" we couldn't afford the shoes when we can buy & sell him a few times over!!! I told my mom to write a letter to Nordstrom's yet I don't know if she will......
So today is another date that for SOME ungodly reason I remember so well. I think it was for the simple fact that when it happened, it was SUCH an amazing thing. Too bad it turned out the way it did.....
On April 10th 2006, I was working for GE in Irvine, CA. It was in a beautiful building and had the most breathtaking views! I was a receptionist who literally just answered a phone and would basically have a thumb up my ass for most of the day! Got paid pretty good to do that too! Anyways, on this day 2 years ago, some people from the Chicago office came to teach some of our people how to use a new program & one of those people turned out to be a really, really nice guy. Possibly the nicest guy I have EVER met in my life. So nice, I swore he was gay! During his breaks, he would come to talk to me. When we would leave to go home (or him to the hotel across the street), he would walk me to my car. He asked me to lunch one day yet I couldn't cuz I took a lunch at a different time than everyone else. On April 12th, which is LBS's birthday, him & I talked about hanging out that night. I told him that I had to go out to eat for my sister's birthday but afterwards, we should definitely get together. Well, he had another idea. He said, "Well, if it's no problem, I could go with you." I was shocked! I have friends & family who don't even like going to eat with my family! (I was kidding!) I called my mom & asked her if it would be cool to bring someone (I had already told her about him) and she was thrilled! Since the place we went to eat at was down the street from my work, there was no point in going all the way home so I asked if we could hang out in his hotel room til dinner, which was at 7:30 & we got off at 5 from work! I was actually afraid, thinking if he tried to take advantage of being in a room or whatnot. Seriously, I don't know why I thought that cuz he was SOOOO nice!!! We ended up talking for about 2 hrs. about EVERYTHING!!! It was one of those amazing conversations that you only wish you could have everyday of your life..... We go to dinner & I introduce him to my mom, LBS, Cheech (<-- that's what I call LBS's boyfriend), my crazy aunt & laid back cousin AB (<-- His nickname is actually Asshole Bitch but it's just simpler to call him AB). Everyone loved him. My sister determined right then and there we were met for each other! We had lots in common (even ordering the same thing & not realizing it til it came out!) As the night went on, the more sad I got knowing he was going to leave tomorrow.
So the next day was harder than I expected. I was devastated and was in a way, heartbroken. Here was this amazing guy I had gotten to know in the past few days & now he's going home, which is 2000 miles away!!! He came to give me a hug goodbye & I did everything not to cry in front of him. Once he left though, it was over! I was crying like a bitch!!! Waterworks galore! Thank god I sat by myself in this HUGE hallway and hardly anyone came by. One of my friends did come by to check on me & she flat out said, "Forget lunch! Just go home an hour early!" I did.
When I left work, I was just drained. I knew I also had to go to the gym (This was when I was REALLY good & went to the gym EVERY night after work! I need to do that again...) & go to personal training.... My trainer even felt bad for me and was easy on me that day. Went home & cried with my mom saying how life sucked & all that good shit. After that, I took about a 5 hr. nap that felt like about 5 years!
It was 9:06 pm when I woke up. I went on myspace (cuz I'm addicted like everyone else) and saw I had a friend request and a new message. I sat there thinking, "who the hell sent me anything, let alone, who friend requested me???" Well, as it turned out, he paid attention the night before at dinner when I said that it was hard to find me on myspace. The only ways you could were through the high school I went to or by my display name. He went on, made an account, looked & found me. I screamed and ran downstairs to tell my family! That was a feeling I will never forget!!!
From there, we emailed each other EVERY DAY!!! About a month & a half later, I went there to see him. Met his whole family & all his friends. He took me ALL around Chicago (seriously, lil tip- when someone tells you to put on tennis shoes instead of your $2.50 flip flops from Old Navy, listen to them!), walked about 10 miles seeing Magnificent Mile, the Harbor, Navy Pier, Buckingham Fountain, Millennium Park..... EVERYWHERE!!!! It was such an amazing trip.
We took turns every month going to see each other. Everything was going great. Then I was let go from GE due to seniority in the position I was in. Things were still great.... until October.
One thing we did everyday was either send an email or a text, basically saying, "Hey. I'm alive & breathing. Have a good day." I was ok with that because to think that it would be realistic to be on the phone 3-5 times a day for an hour or so at a time with someone who was in a different time zone than you would be RIDICULOUS!!! We would mainly talk twice a week, usually on Thursday & Sunday nights. When the beginning of October rolled along, there was about 2 weeks that I had absolutely no contact with him. No calls, emails, text, pigeon with a note around its foot, flare in the air.....nothing! It was quite odd since we would at least have some kind of contact once a day! Finally, on October 19th, he called. We had about an hour conversation. It was nice. We even talked about him coming out that month. Everything seemed fine.
The next day, I emailed him. To this day, still waiting for a response to that email. October 19th of 2007 was the last time I ever heard from him. I would talk to his friends & his friends never said what was wrong. They were first confused like me but, like him, then they stopped contact too. It was quite odd and whenever people would ask what happened, I would say, "You tell me & we'll both know!" I make the joke with one of my friends that for all I know, I still have a boyfriend in Chicago! But yeah, that's what happened.
Well, that was basically it. I've been so out of it lately, I just feel like a zombie!
Only 5 days last...
me =)
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
One week....
...and it'll ALL be over! Well, until next year around February 1st. You know, I worked at a firm last year and yeah it was busy & I was tired but MAN, I'm wiped out this year! Yet, like I mentioned before, I'm doing a HELL of a lot more than I did last year at the other firm......
So, the part came in at approx. 10:15 am!!! Was SUPER excited cuz I was actually SUPER nervous it wasn't! JSC (my boss) is so laid back it's ridiculous. Yeah, he was semi-cranky yesterday but he informed me he was so it was ok. When I told him I was afraid it wasn't going to come in, he was like, "Well then, we would have just gone to the Post Office." But he was excited as well when it came in. The stamps look SOOOO good! Ok, I know EVERYTHING I just wrote sounds so lame. Why would my boss & I get that excited for how a stamp looks??? Easy. It's the little things in life, people! What can we say.... We're simpletons. =)
Like I mentioned at the end of my post yesterday, today is a date that's important to remember in our family. Today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandmother passing away. She was 84. It's weird to think of her not being here anymore. Only seems like yesterday, I would call her just to say hi. You could say she was a "simpleton" as well yet she was something! She was the one who was in charge of the family. It was basically her way or no way. If it wasn't, oh.....
Her thing in life was always having something to worry about or as we call them, "temas". There was a "tema" for EVERYDAY! My dad would do everything to make sure of one not happening yet it didn't matter. She always came up with something.....
There are so many memories & stories that remind me & think of her. Here's just a few:
- The Sundays at her house and going to Arby's
- Playing on the swing set she bought just for my sister & I
- The time I jumped off a high stool & fell on a hard piece of grass when I was 5. To this day, I still have the scar on my knee.
- When she would go in the little Target pool with us in the backyard. I remember this one time I turned around and she fell back and all the water was flowing out!!! I, at the age of 4, had to help her up!
- The time we had to hide in the backyard cuz her friend (who had the beginnings of Alzheimer's) came to the front door & wouldn't leave for like an hour! My grandma didn't want to deal with her so we just stayed in the back, being as quiet as possible.
- Her black beans and rice....... Anyone who ever had them knows what I'm talking about.
- Knowing I'm the only one out of all her grandchilden who got to have a drink with her. I really treasure that! =)
- How, no matter what, she would always have clothes for me. 9 out of 10 times, they were BAD!!! But she did slip a few great things in there.
- And most importantly, that after God & the Pope, she would tell me that the 2 most important people in her life were my dad & I.
Yeah, I know. The last one sounds kinda messed up, especially since she actually said that in front of LBS too but honestly, that made me feel so special. That's something I will always hold close to me.
Well, I better go.
TTYL,
me =)
So, the part came in at approx. 10:15 am!!! Was SUPER excited cuz I was actually SUPER nervous it wasn't! JSC (my boss) is so laid back it's ridiculous. Yeah, he was semi-cranky yesterday but he informed me he was so it was ok. When I told him I was afraid it wasn't going to come in, he was like, "Well then, we would have just gone to the Post Office." But he was excited as well when it came in. The stamps look SOOOO good! Ok, I know EVERYTHING I just wrote sounds so lame. Why would my boss & I get that excited for how a stamp looks??? Easy. It's the little things in life, people! What can we say.... We're simpletons. =)
Like I mentioned at the end of my post yesterday, today is a date that's important to remember in our family. Today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandmother passing away. She was 84. It's weird to think of her not being here anymore. Only seems like yesterday, I would call her just to say hi. You could say she was a "simpleton" as well yet she was something! She was the one who was in charge of the family. It was basically her way or no way. If it wasn't, oh.....
Her thing in life was always having something to worry about or as we call them, "temas". There was a "tema" for EVERYDAY! My dad would do everything to make sure of one not happening yet it didn't matter. She always came up with something.....
There are so many memories & stories that remind me & think of her. Here's just a few:
- The Sundays at her house and going to Arby's
- Playing on the swing set she bought just for my sister & I
- The time I jumped off a high stool & fell on a hard piece of grass when I was 5. To this day, I still have the scar on my knee.
- When she would go in the little Target pool with us in the backyard. I remember this one time I turned around and she fell back and all the water was flowing out!!! I, at the age of 4, had to help her up!
- The time we had to hide in the backyard cuz her friend (who had the beginnings of Alzheimer's) came to the front door & wouldn't leave for like an hour! My grandma didn't want to deal with her so we just stayed in the back, being as quiet as possible.
- Her black beans and rice....... Anyone who ever had them knows what I'm talking about.
- Knowing I'm the only one out of all her grandchilden who got to have a drink with her. I really treasure that! =)
- How, no matter what, she would always have clothes for me. 9 out of 10 times, they were BAD!!! But she did slip a few great things in there.
- And most importantly, that after God & the Pope, she would tell me that the 2 most important people in her life were my dad & I.
Yeah, I know. The last one sounds kinda messed up, especially since she actually said that in front of LBS too but honestly, that made me feel so special. That's something I will always hold close to me.
Well, I better go.
TTYL,
me =)
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Pope & my grandma
You know, it's weird. I know what to say. I actually wrote a blog about it when it first happened 3 years ago on Myspace.... Why can't I start this one?!
I guess I should start with all the coverage when the Pope was dying..... It was sad. Like I've mentioned a few times, I'm not a very religious person yet when it comes to the Pope, I always felt he was a decent guy. It must have been my grandma's influence on me. See, for as long as I can remember, my grandma was all about God & the Pope. She was a VERY religious woman. Went to church quite often and to this day (in honor of her), I have a Jesus clip & Rosary she gave me to keep in my car while I drive.
Anyways, let's actually go back a little further to about '99-'00..... I was hanging out with friends that introduced me to their friends and it was this big o' group of us. Since I lived in Orange County & these friends of mine lived in San Diego County, whenever I would visit, everyone would make a big deal about it. Well, I guess one of the girls who was a friend of a friend got irked and actually said, "Who does she think she is, the Pope?!" At first, I was a lil' perturbed yet when everything was going on with Pope John Paul II, I was finding out all sorts of things about him & he wasn't all that bad. Actually, after I found out a particular story, he wasn't bad at all.....
It was April 2nd & the Pope has now passed away. All I could think about was how my grandma was going to take it, especially since she had been sick for awhile and the doctors had said she didnt have that much more time left...... There was no way to hide it from her since it was all over the TV...... She was in the hospital at the time of his death so my mom & I went to visit her. We walked in and she seemed fine. The TV was on and she was watching all the coverage. So we were just talking & whatnot and then I remembered that she went to the Vatican like 15 years ago. Then my mom could have sworned that my grandma met the Pope. Well, all we had to do was put our stories together cuz my grandma met the Pope at the Vatican! Here's what she told us that day, 3 years ago:
When she went to the Vatican, the Pope was there and greeting people inside. I'm not sure if someone pushed her, fainted or was overwhelmed but she fell & hit her head. When she got up, she looked and there was the Pope. He then walked up to her & rubbed her head and said, "Aww". Then went on his way. I found that story out 6 days before she passed away. She passed away, appropriately, during the Pope's funeral.
I just found that to be such a great story and I thought I would share it. It's something I know I'll always remember.
me =)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Random thoughts......
-Still really tired...
-Catching up on stuff on my DVR.....Well, I'm caught up with "Beauty & the Geek".....
-Doing my 2-Day cleanse that I'm not sure if it's really been working.....
-Have to pee like a racehorse but I'm trying to hold it in! Ok, there's no more holding....I'm now going to run! BRB...
Alright, now that the last thought has been done, let me tell you about my favorite "random" thought today-- It's how my lil baby sister likes to put the fear in God in guys when she doesn't want them to hit on her anymore. What does she do, you ask??? Well, instead of informing the guy she has a boyfriend, she just tells them that if they try doing anything to her that I (me, her older sister) will either hire someone or hell, just kick the ass/kill the person myself! She informed me of this yesterday cuz she went out with some friends awhile ago & I don't know how the convo came to this but yeah, she informed some guy not to mess with her cuz I would kill/kick his ass..... I thought that was hilarious but honestly, it's the truth! I would do it for anyone who was close to me. There's the running joke that I'm people's bodyguards (i.e.- LBS & other friends who are very petite).... Let me say, I'm not a violent person. I'm not even a mean person, at ALL! But.... You fuck with me or someone close to me, you better be running for the hills, motherfucker! I may be a slow ass manatee but if I catch up to you, it's over.
It reminded me of when I was in Kindergarten........ It was a nice bright sunny day & we were out at recess....... I was actually wearing a skirt which was SUPER rare cuz I hated wearing them! A group of us were out in the field & all of a sudden I see my crush, Jared Tomlin, (1st grader) getting picked on and being pushed around by a 3rd grader.......Well, needless to say, I was LIVID and I just stormed over there, pushed the 3rd grader to the ground and started hitting & kicking him! I think it lasted about 15-20 seconds but what I do remember is this:
-There was a circle around me & the kid
-No teachers saw so I didn't get in trouble!
After that, the 3rd grader wanted NOTHING to do with me! Probably for the simple fact that he just got his ass "served" by a kindergarten GIRL! I know it shouldn't be but it's one of my prouder moments in life.....
I tell my folks that if I were to ever be in a situation where I had to defend myself, I can confidently say I can. My mom says that she doesn't want me to always think I can cuz guys are most of the time stronger than girls......Well, mom, I think it's better to think that I can stand up & defend myself instead of thinking I can't cuz then if & (god forbid) when I were to get into a situation like that, I would be prepared & I think that's when the adrenaline would kick in too!
Anyways, now that some of you are probably thinking I'm going to go on a rampage, I'm going to go back to doing data entry for tax returns........FUN!
OH!!! I almost forgot to mention- I got my first comment! So excited! <--(Seriously, it's the little things, people!) So thank you whoever you are! I truly appreciate it you not only reading my blog but taking the time to leave a comment as well!
Til about 12:45-ish tomorrow,
me! =)
-Catching up on stuff on my DVR.....Well, I'm caught up with "Beauty & the Geek".....
-Doing my 2-Day cleanse that I'm not sure if it's really been working.....
-Have to pee like a racehorse but I'm trying to hold it in! Ok, there's no more holding....I'm now going to run! BRB...
Alright, now that the last thought has been done, let me tell you about my favorite "random" thought today-- It's how my lil baby sister likes to put the fear in God in guys when she doesn't want them to hit on her anymore. What does she do, you ask??? Well, instead of informing the guy she has a boyfriend, she just tells them that if they try doing anything to her that I (me, her older sister) will either hire someone or hell, just kick the ass/kill the person myself! She informed me of this yesterday cuz she went out with some friends awhile ago & I don't know how the convo came to this but yeah, she informed some guy not to mess with her cuz I would kill/kick his ass..... I thought that was hilarious but honestly, it's the truth! I would do it for anyone who was close to me. There's the running joke that I'm people's bodyguards (i.e.- LBS & other friends who are very petite).... Let me say, I'm not a violent person. I'm not even a mean person, at ALL! But.... You fuck with me or someone close to me, you better be running for the hills, motherfucker! I may be a slow ass manatee but if I catch up to you, it's over.
It reminded me of when I was in Kindergarten........ It was a nice bright sunny day & we were out at recess....... I was actually wearing a skirt which was SUPER rare cuz I hated wearing them! A group of us were out in the field & all of a sudden I see my crush, Jared Tomlin, (1st grader) getting picked on and being pushed around by a 3rd grader.......Well, needless to say, I was LIVID and I just stormed over there, pushed the 3rd grader to the ground and started hitting & kicking him! I think it lasted about 15-20 seconds but what I do remember is this:
-There was a circle around me & the kid
-No teachers saw so I didn't get in trouble!
After that, the 3rd grader wanted NOTHING to do with me! Probably for the simple fact that he just got his ass "served" by a kindergarten GIRL! I know it shouldn't be but it's one of my prouder moments in life.....
I tell my folks that if I were to ever be in a situation where I had to defend myself, I can confidently say I can. My mom says that she doesn't want me to always think I can cuz guys are most of the time stronger than girls......Well, mom, I think it's better to think that I can stand up & defend myself instead of thinking I can't cuz then if & (god forbid) when I were to get into a situation like that, I would be prepared & I think that's when the adrenaline would kick in too!
Anyways, now that some of you are probably thinking I'm going to go on a rampage, I'm going to go back to doing data entry for tax returns........FUN!
OH!!! I almost forgot to mention- I got my first comment! So excited! <--(Seriously, it's the little things, people!) So thank you whoever you are! I truly appreciate it you not only reading my blog but taking the time to leave a comment as well!
Til about 12:45-ish tomorrow,
me! =)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I told you I would....
....so here I am.
Ok, before I get into this particular story, I must preface by mentioning I was the "good Black Sheep" when it came to the people I used to hang out with back in the day (when I was 18-20). They were big time druggies and I was the one who may have been there or went with them to get it yet I never did it!!!! Call me a wussy but I have enough things wrong with me (health wise) and I didn't need to mix illegal drugs with the prescription meds I have to take! On that note.....
It's 1999. Just got my first real job working at Family Fun Center for the summer. It was a good job for any high school student. After a month or so, I started making some friends, one of them being someone I am calling my "Long Lost" friend.
LLF & I started hanging out together after awhile. Everyone thought we looked alike and would always get us mixed up! We had a ritual of working 9-5 on Saturdays, going to The Block, picking out a movie to see & then going to Starbucks to get a drink and smoke til the movie started. It was like clockwork! Everyone knew this & it went on like this for quite awhile.
Once I was fired from FFC (the first of many firings....ugh, remind me and I'll get into that one day!), we still hung out. It actually seemed like we were hanging out even more. Then I got my license and that was it! We were pretty much inseparable! I introduced LLF to my other friends and we basically became a foursome! We basically lived in my '85 Toyota Cressida (which only lasted 4 months but hey, it took us around and to Tijuana & back at least 3-5 times!!!). The next car I got was the '96 Oddessey minivan and something must have triggered something in the girls I used to hang out with cuz everyone started getting pregnant!
One day, one of us got pregnant. Then we became a threesome.....Few months later, someone else got pregnant.......Sure enough, LLF got pregnant too! It was weird but I supported all my friends who got pregnant and out of all my friends who got pregnant, I was only at the hospital for the birth of LLF's baby. I mean, I was RIGHT THERE!!! I saw that baby come out! They say when a girl/woman sees actual child birth before doing it for themselves, they're scarred and never want to go through it. I was the opposite! I proclaimed that I couldn't WAIT for that because it is truly one of the most amazing things you will EVER witness! BTW- I'm still waiting yet I think it will be worth the wait & hey! I'm only 26!
So anyways, one semi-crucial thing I left out was that the three people I used to hang out with were pretty addicted to Meth ("Speed" or "Shit" as they called it). The others got into it in high school ('99-ish) yet LLF didn't get into Meth until about 2002-ish. They all basically stopped once they found out they were pregnant yet what surprised me was how some of them got right back into it. LLF was the one who got carried away....
Once she gave birth, I only saw her about 5-7 times.....We lost contact for a while but she did call me when her mother passed away in 2003.....After that, LLF called me to inform me that she was in jail but she's out so I could go pick her up, all nonchalant, like everything was normal & we were going to hang out......I told her no & that was the last time I heard from her....
....Until Easter Sunday.
I got home from my aunt's house and came online. Logged into Myspace and saw a new friend request. I had no idea who it could have been but when I saw it was her, I was completely shocked! I had checked up on her a few times on the site to see if people were in jail. She was on there a few times. When I saw she wasn't in jail, I figured she was either in prison for 3 strikes or quite possibly dead.
LLF & I finally got to speak on the phone for the first time in 5 years yesterday. We caught up just a little. She informed me she had been in & out of jail, she put the baby up for adoption (but it's an open adoption), wasn't with the baby's dad anymore (thank GOD!), has been clean for over 2 years, is engaged to a guy who is very supportive of her & they also have a baby. The questions that she was asking me about my life & others we knew were kind of a trip since I basically don't talk to or hang out with any of them anymore. Hell, I barely talk to or hang out with anyone these days! It's crazy to think & put into perspective how much life can change in just 5 years, especially when it only feels like it was 5 months ago!
We plan on maybe meeting up for a cup of coffee & just catching up. Who knows if we'll ever be able to get back to how it was back in the day but I know it won't. Even though it was only a few years ago, things were so simple back then. Our biggest worries were if we had money to eat at taco bell or gas! Life just gets more complicated with each day that goes by.
All I know is that it took over 5 years to hear from LLF and it was just so good to hear her voice.
Really, it was actually pretty "woot". =)
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