Getting Better

So I'm starting to sleep again... Actually it's become the opposite where I now just want to sleep! I think it's moved from emotional stress to emotional exhaustion but as ridiculous as it sounds, I would rather sleep than not... Other than being in Vegas, I have never stayed up, especially just laying in bed in the dark, all night at home before & well, it was shitty.

For some reason last night, the song, "All Cried Out" got into my head & so I looked up the lyrics. Sans it being about a relationship, this is basically how I eventually want to end up... I am happy to say about 77% there yet I just need to release the last 23%. That will most likely happen by the end of the week!

If you don't know the song or can't remember it, I linked it in the title. I was originally was going to post the mid 90's remake but I thought that we all (well, maybe just me) needs a good laugh & to feel a lil better so I have posted it OG with Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam. Enjoy an "as legit as it was" 80's video!

All Cried Out

[Girl]
All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, whoa...
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying
And you
Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow
Set this place on fire 'cause I'm tired of your lies
All I needed was a simple "Hello"
But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear my cry

I, I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure
My heart never knew such pain
And you, you leave me so confused
Now I'm all cried out
Over you

[Boy]
Oh you, all over you, ooh....

Never wanted to see things your way
I had to go astray
Oh, why was I such a fool
Now I see that the grass is greener [Girl: Why, oh why...]
Is it too late for me to find my way home
How could I be so wrong?

[Girl]
Leaving me all alone

Don't you know the hurt will cause an inferno
Romance up in flames
Why should I take the blame?
You were the one who left me neglected [Boy: Oh, no no no...I'm so sorry]
Apology not accepted
Add me to the broken hearts you've collected

I, I gave you all of me [Boy: Gave me all of you]
How was I to know
You would weaken so easily
I, I don't know what to do
Now I'm all cried out [Boy: I'm all...]
Over you [Boy: All cried out too...whoa, whao..]

[Girl]
I, I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure
My heart never knew such pain
And you

[Boy]
I left you so confused!
Now I'm all cried out

[Girl]
Now I'm all cried out
Over you......

ugh, this sucks.

**Editor's note: Flat out- I'm a mess. Because of that, some posts may be really strong & emotionally driven. Things will come out that some people won't agree with & some that may make others think I should be in a padded room. Please know that I am on here to show I don't need the padded room. When I'm not & you're worried, then contact to make sure I wasn't transferred to one.**

It's 2:06 am & I can't sleep. Today really kicked my ass. I haven't had a day like this in a while, especially to the degree of today's emotional level. HO tried doing a "tough love" bit on me but that didn't work... I felt it was too soon to do. Today should have been more of, "This is shitty but let it out" day.

I ended up admitted more of the "issue" to my mother. As much as it hurt to do, she was very understanding. Yes, she took 4 seconds to scold me yet took the rest of the day to be as understanding and compassionate as a person can be. It made me feel good. It truly did.

My problem though is that I can't seem to find the compassion for myself. I can't stop being upset over everything! I've been told by quite a few people that I need to be but I just can't bring myself to feel that way towards myself. For some reason, I can feel all the compassion for anyone else, who honestly & truly deserve it. Not the fucking stupid, god damn ignorant, piece of shit, basic cancers to society that I know of or have on a list of actual people I unfortunately know. It's not that I feel I belong on that list (NOT AT ALL!) but I also don't want to have compassion for myself. It's more that I'm just so pissed, let alone disappointed I could have EVER gotten into a situation like this. I feel like a hypocrite, a loser & just a stupid shit. Honestly, I'm not writing this for others to be like, "No...". I'm writing this to let people know that I'm learning more about life & it sucks. It sucks A LOT!

As a kid, I never imagined life would be this way. I imagined that life was a basic cut out & you either go this way or that way. I know its a good thing that it isn't yet to ever think it would go this way just SUCKS!!! I knew there were bad people in the world but maliciously horrendous cocksuckers who prey on people? Wow. It's just mind blowing. I know that there have been people like this since the dawn of time but how has it just gotten worse? Like really, how???

I hate I can't sleep. I hate that I think I may have to start taking something to help me sleep. I hate that I can't hire a hit man man or even just take the pleasure of getting rid of a cancer to society. I hate the system. I really am just a huge cluster fuck mess of hate right now & I hate it.

pure vent

In a span of 3 hours, today has been SUCH a roller coaster of emotions! I honestly don't remember the last time I had such a feeling of low to feeling high within 1.5 seconds.

It all started this morning-

See, I haven't been sleeping well. The past few nights, my bedtime has been around 3 am. My body is just so stressed & out of it & I hate it. So, going to bed at 3, usually nothing would wake me up 3 & 1/2 hours later... Well, at 6:15, HO called needing a ride. For me to hear, actually feel the vibrations of the phone next to my head is the ONLY reason why I picked up my phone. To get into why I had to give HO a ride would just be too long, draining & ridiculous right now but I will get into it one day... But anyways, back to the subject here, which is me... =)~

So I get up & give him a ride. I'm super tired & wondering why I'm driving but it was for a good reason. All I can think though is that I can't wait til I get home & to get back into bed. I get back, get the puppies & go back to bed to sleep... but now I can't sleep. So I figure, "Let me listen to Kevin & Bean". While listening to K&B, they mentioned they were going to have a dream interpreter. I was quite intrigued since I have always had very intense & even some recurring dreams so I figured, "Hey, I should call in"... Ok, I know that I'm on the radio often yet I call when it's a topic or a trivia game. When it's something along the lines of a mass amount of people trying to call in to be one of like 3 to be able to ask a question, it's nearly impossible... Well, what do you know? I got through!

While I was on hold, I was trying to think of what exactly to ask. I mean, I am a HUGE dream person. My father & I love talking about dreams and we always try to figure out what it all means. Of all the dreams I thought about asking, "What does this mean?", I pick a recurring one that has been around for half my life. It usually comes at least 4-6 times a year yet it has been coming more like once or twice a month. It really haunts me cuz it starts out ok yet turns scary. All it is- a big wave of water. They're not like a 5, 10, 15 foot waves- they're easily 50-100 feet tall! I can have the most normal of dreams & then out of the blue, I'm @ the beach & I start to see the build up of the wave. Through out the years, lil things change about it. I try running away/outsmarting it & the wave at times looks like its been drawn like a funny cartoon yet every time, it hits me.

I'm the last call they took on the radio. They were very nice & understanding. The guy informs me that in any dream that consists of water means emotion. Alright- huge wave of emotion. I get it. Alright, it started with being diagnosed with my thyroid condition. HUGE turning point & really affected my life/emotions thought, through out the years, I have learned to deal & take care of it. It still bothers me but I notice that these wave dreams come around when HUGE emotional stuff is going on. When I was listening to the playback, I heard myself start to tear up in the end. As much as it may have been for the thyroid, it was more for the "issue" going on.

I can't get into the "issue" just yet. Some things still need to be sorted out yet most likely, the story of the "issue" will be coming soon. Here's why:

About 15-20 mins after I was on the radio, I got just the most devastating news about it. It was official. I hit rock bottom. I was inconsolable and crying like a kid who is on the verge of throwing up & not being able to breath out of my nose. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. HOW COULD THIS BE?!?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?!? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON??? To top it off, the asshole who was giving me this information was a emotionless as fuck. I think that's what hurt even more. Then he couldn't even give me proper information so I then had to make calls & find it out myself, all while trying to compose myself. It was truly hell.

This is where it picks up- I literally just had everything sucked out of me. I don't even know how I was standing. I hung up with the nice lady who was being as helpful as possible while trying to tell me I'll be ok. Then, I get a Facebook notice on my phone. It said I had a private message sent to me & when I saw the name of the person who sent it to me, I went into shock. I then did my infamous "thinking semi-pessimistically" and figured it was a spam virus & I was a "lucky one" who got the message! Well, I was wrong! This person heard me on the radio & was excited to hear me on there. This person actually recognized my voice before they even heard it was me! I HAVEN'T SEEN/SPOKE (sans email) WITH THIS PERSON IN OVER 7 YEARS!!! and knew it was me. To even get into who this person is would take forever & 2 days but this is someone who is a very amazing human being & I have felt this way for quite sometime. If for some reason this person is reading this, thank you. You made me go from feeling like pond scam to flying high as a kite in 1.5 seconds.

Would you believe this all happened within 3 hours, all before 9:30 in the morning? Would you also believe that the last part all happened with 30 mins? Me neither... but it did.

So... to end this, I ask a question- did all this happen for a reason? Did HO needing a ride, not being able to go back to sleep, having to listen to K&B, going on the radio, get a devastating phone call to then get an amazing message all happen for a reason? If not, well, this is some funky ass world we live in...

"It's been a long time...

... Shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to..."

Hi. I don't even know what to really say. To say that the past year has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. I'm ashamed, disappointed and kinda pissed that I didn't write on here when it probably would have helped me release some of the stuff that I needed to. The problem was I just couldn't bring myself to. I didn't have the energy. It just sucked. I know I've said/mentioned something like this about 6 months ago but it seemed like everything just took a nosedive and I just lost a lot of motivation. I hope that I will one day be able to write about everything that has happened but as of right now, it's probably not best until everything is done, taken care of & the outcome is what I would want it to be or just at least a positive one.

As of right now, I'm getting a lil better. I actually just got laid off and as much as that would be looked @ as a bad thing, it's actually the best thing for me right now. I need time to fix myself emotionally, mentally & physically. I'm calling this my "Carpe Diem" moment. 

In a way to get back into the swing of things, I'm going to try to come on here to write. You know, I don't find myself to be a great, even good, writer but I want to try & be. Even if I just come on here & post pics of the "PUPPIES", it's doing something! 

There are a few posts from tax season that I finally posted & I'll try posting tonight or tomorrow my "25 things" & "50 questions". 37 years later but it'll finally be done! 

So for those who read this, yes, I'm here, semi-functioning and trying to just get on with life.

Thanks for coming by & take care,

Me =)

Unfortunately...

No blogging on the road for me today... I am sicker than a damn animal & all I want to do is sleep & take drugs! I feel really bad though b/c this is my first time in about 4-5 years that I have missed a Saturday going with my dad. I really feel that I should go but I know if I do, I'll just make everything worse for me, my dad & even for the guys at work! I just need to nip this shit in the butt & get on with life! 

Here's hoping for sleep, soup & cough medicine with codeine! 

Til next time,

me =(

I'm just wondering...

... Am I bitch for thinking that if you are a professional/self-employed person, that goes to different businesses for your job, that its cool to drag your kid with you!? When I say kid, I mean a child under the age of, oh, let's say 7. I understand there are circumstances that come up & you may need to drag the kid with you yet what if you worked in an office building or a factory? You couldn't take your kid to work with you. I also find it VERY unprofessional when you are trying to make an impression with someone that you can't find a baby sitter or day care to watch your kid for those few hours you're away???

Like I said, I understand shit comes! For instance, when LBS & I were younger, we would sometimes have to go to school with my mom. At first, it was boring as HELL yet I just finally sucked it up & started to help out around the classroom or see if any other teachers needed help yet I was old enough to help out! What input is a 4-5 year old going to make to his interior designer mom?!?!

So seriously, am I a bitch for thinking/feeling this way???

Me.

A Story

Finis​h the follo​wing sente​nces:​


Hi, my name is: Elizabeth Suarez.

Never​ in my life have I been:​ in a coma.​

The one perso​n who can drive​ me nuts is: my sister.

High schoo​l:​ was unfor​getta​ble,​ full of good and bad memor​ies.​

When I'm nervo​us:​ I sweat.

The last song I liste​ned to was: Nowhere Girl by B-Movie.

If I were to get marri​ed right​ now my best man/​maid of honor​:​ would be LBS.

My hair is: a pain in the ass to do quick yet when I take the time, it's great!

When I was 5: I wanted to be an artist.

Last Chris​tmas:​ LBS & I took pics with the Numbs as a xmas gift for "the units".

I shoul​d be: sleep​ing!

When I look down I see: my toes.

The happi​est recen​t event​ was: having ladies night with the cousins! =)

If I were a chara​cter on '​Frien​ds'​ I'd be: a mix of Phoeb​e & Chandler.

By this time next year:​ I'll be 28 & getting ready for Tax season.

My curre​nt gripe​ is: ignorance.

I have a hard time under​stand​ing:​ how ignorant, delusional & incompetent the world has become (more recently I should say...)....

There​'​s this girl I know that:​ needs to get her shit together & realize how her life is going nowhere.

You know I like you when:​ I get a genuine smile on my face.

If I won an award​,​ the first​ perso​n I would​ tell would​ be: my folks

Take my advic​e:​ Never​ compr​omise​ yourself & ask questions.

The thing​ I want to buy: a new car & a condo in Newport Beach​.​

If you visit​ed the place​ I was born:​ you would​ be about 20 mins away from everything in Orange County.

I plan to visit​:​ my good friend in Seattle sometime! I PROMISE LIZZ!!!!

If you spent​ the night​ at my house​:​ I'm sure dogs would​ want to sleep​ all over you.

I'd stop my weddi​ng if: I found​ out my fianc​e was a douche!

The world​ could​ do witho​ut:​ About 95% of Reality TV & 90% of idiots.

Most recen​t thing​ I've bough​t mysel​f:​ a 24oz of Smiroff Ice that way PH & I could go brown bag it at the park.

Most recen​t thing​ someo​ne else bough​t me: was probably a meal

My favor​ite blond​e is: JWB

My favor​ite brune​tte is: I'll just say me.

My favor​ite black​ hair is: no one I can think of right now....

My middl​e name is: Mercedes...... & yes, I was named b/c of the car!

In the morni​ng I: either get ready for work, while listening to Kevin & Bean or trying to sleep in on the weekends.

The anima​ls I would​ like to see flyin​g besid​es birds​ are: elephants.

Once,​ at a bar: had a drink that tasted like a chocolate cake yet had everything but the kitchen sink in it! 

Last night​ I was: at a park, brown baggin' it! 

There​'​s this guy I know who: is miserable with his life.

If I was an anima​l I'd be: a manatee ;)

A bette​r name for me would​ be: Woot =)

Tomor​row I am: doing​ laund​ry & maybe watching the game or going to the movies.

Tonig​ht I am: just watching & catching up with stuff on my DVR

My birth​day is: the easiest date to remember. 

A year ago today.....

....Heath Ledger passed away. There are so many reasons why I remember the date, let alone the time I found out- @ 1:45 pm PST, about 5 minutes after it was posted on TMZ. I remember being in such shock that it really didn't hit me until later that night when the horrible, disgusting & ignorant baptist church group from who knows where in the south decided that they wanted to protest his funeral. They wanted EVERYONE to know that since he played a gay character that this was God's way of punishing him. They were going to basically be there to make a ruckus & inform everyone that he was going to burn in Hell. I was blown away when I saw that & it was then that it hit me. It made me think of all the other work he had done and then I just sat in bed & started to just cry. I was & in a way, still am a mess over his passing. I don't know if it was that he was only a few years older than me or that him & the amazing talent he had were now gone. 

I, being the Queen of all knowing gossip & info in entertainment, remember seeing when they announced he was going to be the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie. I was skeptical yet when I saw his make up/appearance in pre-production pics & heard all the acclaim he was already getting before the movie even wrapped up, I had a feeling it was going to be amazing. Hell, I even remember people saying he should get an Oscar nod BACK THEN! So for people assuming he's getting all this attention now, just because of his passing, you're wrong.

Below is a clip from the movie that not only introduced us to the person that was Heath yet made me & others see how great he was:

I ain't gonna lie...

Watching this moved me to tears:

We all have opinions on our new president but I will not deny how beautiful it was seeing the Obamas dance, let alone Beyonce really showing how TRULY talented she is!

Me =..)

hi.

For those who were wondering or concerned, I'm here. 

I know I have been HORRIBLE in keeping touch, let alone fulfilling the promise I made to myself to write in this as much as possible. It sucks cuz once I'm on a roll, I just go! Well, the past few months haven't been too peachy for me. A few things here & there happened yet it was the massive blow to my emotional & mental state that had me in the horrendous funk I've been in. 

Examples:

- My manatee ass just ate. I ate to my damn heart's content! Drank quite a bit too..... Let's just say I'm finally getting my ass in gear to lose all this weight cuz I'm not happy with it!

- I have been driving since August of 2000. From then to about June of 2008,  I had gotten MAYBE 3 tickets TOPS! From July of 2008 to October of 2008, I got 3 tickets. As is it, I received a "warning letter" from the DMV that if I get 2 more points by December of this year (2009), my license will be suspended.

- Hell, I can even use this blog as an example! I, for some reason, decided to come on & just check out some posts I wrote. I was re-reading the last one & I found SOOO many mistakes! Ok, maybe it was more like 3 or 4 but I'm anal retentive and have a lil OCD so it not only pissed me off but embarrassed me to post something with THAT MANY MISTAKES! 

Reader's digest- I was fooled, BAD! I actually can't get into too much detail about it right now yet one day I hope to write the truth & WHOLE story/outcome of this fiasco. 

I will say that even though tax season is literally RIGHT around the corner, I should be writing a lil more. Maybe not writing the long ass novels I usually post but I plan on posting interesting articles/items I see/find. I also will continue with the infamous, "blogging on the road" on Saturdays during tax season. OH! and a new thing I will be doing is posting as many pics of ALL the puppies we now have!!! Yes, I said puppies! I finally got a damn digital camera so I can now not only takes pics & load them up ASAP instead of the OG way of developing & scanning but I can now be part of the 21st century!

So, in closing- I'm alive & ready to take everything on! I'm a whole year older and it's time for things to change and for things to happen in my life!

Anyways, hope all is well with you & your families and thanks for coming by!

Talk to you soon....

<3,

me! =)

 

oh, don't worry....

I know I'm a horrible human being.... The funny thing is I've had things written that I've met to post but haven't! Anyways, here are a few things to read. I'll update later with pics of puppies (yes, puppies!), stories and the latest on life....



<3,

me! =)

the results

on the way home from work yesterday, my father & i had a discussion about the election results. we're completely baffled at the results:


1- let me just say RIGHT NOW, i wasn't impressed with both candidates.... i mean, this is the best our country could come up with??? and now we have a man with the only experience of 143 days as a senator about to run our country. its the equivalent of working on a dock & after 4 months, someone saying to that person, "hey, the CEO quit & now we're giving you the position!"

2- living in California, we had some very interesting props to vote on. ill get to prop 8 in a second yet did you hear about prop 4? if not, check it out. i understand there are exceptions to every law/rule yet: 1- when i was in high school & had a headache, i couldn't take an aspirin without someone's permission & 2- my sister, who is a manager of a tanning salon, must have a parent come in, fill out a consent form & on file at ALL times, it will say, "this person under the age of 16 has permission to tan".... remember, i just said TAN!

3- prop 8.... you'll never know how much that hurts me and I'm straight! people keep saying it would ruin the sanctity of marriage.... um, newsflash! it had already been ruined by the many people getting married for health benefits, becoming legal and most importantly, people just thinking, "oh, ill get married & if it doesn't work out, ill just get divorced... no big deal!" if anything, i think it would have been restored for the simple fact that most of the gay friends i have in my life want their lives to be as regular/normal as everyone else so they value their relationships, love the idea of spending their lives with someone forever, let alone, having a family of their own! for this to pass, its basically separating water fountains again....

me =(

You can’t deny that there’s truth to this!

These are not my words...I have given proper credit to the deserving man at the bottom. But any self respecting person with an ounce of Cuban blood feels passionately about this, especially once these points are made clear. I've never been a person BIG into politics, but this really tugs into my emotions. As a daughter of a Cuban refugee, I pledge to not join the masses in being sucked into the charisma of a young, inexperienced man who promises "change"...

FIDEL CASTRO & OBAMA

All I wish to express, as a former Cuban exile, is that Barack Obama and Fidel Castro share many personality traits, i.e.:

Both were abandoned by their fathers at an early age.

Both are charming, eloquent lawyers that say exactly what people want to hear at the right time and place.

One never led the nation to suspect he was a communist at heart, the other doesn't mention the word socialism when in reality this is exactly what his agenda stands for.

Both were virtually unknown until they began to use the word 'change' as their main political motto.

Both have egos as tall as the twin towers, yet they manage to present themselves humbly, one in soiled military fatigues and the other sweating and with an undone tie.

Both have the unique ability to distort truth and lies as if they were the same.

Both have the ability to hypnotize the ignorant and fool the wishful thinker and to divide a nation in classes, (divide and you shall win) In Fidel's case he divided the rich against the poor, the illiterate against the educated and the black against the white. In Obama's case even if by omission, he's de-facto dividing the races already.

And lastly I'll use the words of Jorge Santayana to finish my case in point: 'Those who can't remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'

And in the words of Sir Winston Churchill: 'The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal distribution of blessings, the inherent vice of Socialism is the equal distribution of misery.'

GOD SAVE AMERICA!


Signed: Andrew J. Rodriguez, Author of 'Adios, Havana,' a memoir

In closing, vote Yes on Prop 2 and No on Prop 8...I still have my liberal views but my overall foundation respectfully leans to the RIGHT side.

If you'​re behin​d on your mortg​age & about​ to be forec​losed...

.​.​.​.​go get a gun & shoot​ yours​elf!​​​ Don'​​​t belie​ve me?​​​?​​​?​​​ Read this:​​​


"A 90-​​​year-​​​old Akron​,​​​ Ohio,​​​ woman​ who shot herse​lf as
sheri​ff'​​​s deput​ies tried​ to evict​ her from her forec​losed​ home
becam​e a symbo​l of the natio​n'​​​s home mortg​age crisi​s Frida​y.​​​
Addie​ Polk is being​ treat​ed at Akron​ Gener​al Medic​al Cente​r
after​ shoot​ing herse​lf at least​ twice​ in the upper​ body Wedne​sday
after​noon,​​​ her city counc​ilman​ said.​​​

On Frida​y,​​​ Fanni​e Mae spoke​sman Brian​ Faith​ said the mortg​age
assoc​iatio​n had decid​ed to halt actio​n again​st Polk and sign the
prope​rty "​​​outri​ght"​​​ to her. "​​​We'​​​re going​ to forgi​ve whate​ver
outst​andin​g balan​ce she had on the loan and give her the house​,​​​
"​​ Faith​ said.​​​ "​​​Given​ the circu​mstan​ces,​​​ we think​ it's appro​priat​e.​​​"

Meanw​hile,​​​ U.S. Rep. Denni​s Kucin​ich,​​​ D-​​​Ohio,​​​ menti​oned Polk
on the House​ floor​ Frida​y durin​g debat​e over the lates​t econo​mic
rescu​e propo​sal.​​​"


So., reall​y?​​ This 90 year old woman​ had to make a blunt​ point​
by SHOOT​ING HERSE​LF cuz she didn'​​t want to leave​ her home
and now every​thing​ is "​​a-​​ok"​​?​​!​​ Can you imagi​ne if this were to
REALL​Y becom​e a trend​?​​?​​?​​ Makes​ me sick.​​.​​.​​ ={

​My quest​ion to anyon​e who reads​ this & works​/​​​worke​d in the
mortg​age/​​​real estat​e/​​​loan busin​ess is why AND how all this was ok?!
How was it ok to appro​ve peopl​e for loans​ they could​n'​​​t affor​d,​​​ even
go as far as in LYING​ on the appli​catio​ns that way they could​ purch​ase
a home that was REALL​Y out of their​ means​?​​​?​​​?​​​ Yes, I know,​​​ we can
blame​ a lot of this on greed​ but look where​ we are now.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​

You know what'​​​s weird​?​​​ 2 years​ ago, my dad knew this was going​
to happe​n.​​​ You wanna​ know what'​​​s scary​?​​​ After​ seein​g/​​​under​stand​ing
what he was sayin​g 2 years​ ago, I predi​cted this would​ not becom​e
a "​​​reces​sion"​​​ but a "​​​depre​ssion​"​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​ One of the few thing​a my fathe​r
and I have in commo​n-​​​ we don'​​​t like to be prove​n right​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​ Let'​​​s just
say we'​​​re prett​y pertu​rbed right​ now.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​.​​​



me.

I don'​t care if you'​re votin​g for Obama​,​ McCai​n or your dog...

.​.​.​.​.​you MUST read this!​ Serio​usly every​one,​ this can be our reali​ty if we don'​t reali​ze what'​s TRULY​ going​ on!​!​!​!​

me ={





By Glenn​ Beck
CNN- NEW YORK --




Dear Ameri​ca:​


Happy​ 300th​ Birth​day!​

It's 2076 and we'​ve just inven​ted the time-​fax machi​ne.​ (​Actua​lly,​ "we" didn'​t inven​t the time-​fax machi​ne,​ the State​ did -- they prett​y much contr​ol every​thing​ now.)

I'm faxin​g this back to you in 2008 becau​se that seems​ to be the year we had the best chanc​e to rever​se our cours​e and get back to the visio​n laid out by our found​ing fathe​rs -- a visio​n that didn'​t inclu​de the gover​nment​ being​ in the insur​ance busin​ess.​

I don'​t have a lot of time (the State​ only gives​ us one 30-​minut​e break​ per day) so let me give you some advic​e:​ Stop worry​ing so much about​ who runs the count​ry and start​ worry​ing about​ who runs your towns​,​ your state​s,​ and your Congr​ess.​

I know you'​re all distr​acted​ by the presi​denti​al elect​ion,​ but for all the money​ and time poure​d into it, the truth​ is that you'​re choos​ing betwe​en two roads​ that will lead you to the same destinatio​n.​ Sure,​ one may be the Autob​ahn and the other​ a two-​lane highw​ay,​ but you'​ll end up at the same place​ eithe​r way.

Decad​es of Repub​lican​s and Democ​rats alike​ have all chipp​ed in to lead you to where​ you are today​.​ Belie​ving that one perso​n,​ from eithe​r party​,​ can chang​e that by thems​elves​ is a big mistake.​

Presi​dents​ are like capta​ins of a large​ ship:​ They can map out a cours​e and shout​ out order​s,​ but witho​ut the trust​ and hard work of the peopl​e who actua​lly move the rudde​rs,​ their​ comma​nds
mean nothi​ng.​

In retro​spect​,​ the lack of trust​ and confi​dence​ you now have in your leade​rs was reall​y the root cause​ of every​thing​ that'​s happe​ned since​.​ While​ our found​ing fathe​rs desig​ned a brill​iant
syste​m of check​s and balan​ces,​ separ​ation​ of power​s and democ​ratic​ elect​ions,​ trust​ was the one thing​ they could​n'​t manda​te in the Const​ituti​on.​

Unfor​tunat​ely,​ it's also the found​ation​ upon which​ every​thing​ else is built​ and once it began​ to erode​,​ our whole​ house​ inevi​tably​ began​ to crumb​le.​

Looki​ng back now, it's prett​y obvio​us that our trust​ in gover​nment​ decli​ned at about​ the same rate as our parti​sansh​ip incre​ased.​ Peopl​e becam​e so conce​rned about​ getti​ng their​ party​
into power​ at any cost that the truth​ didn'​t even seem to matte​r anymo​re.​

That'​s proba​bly one of the reaso​ns why Georg​e Washi​ngton​ hated​ the idea of polit​ical parti​es so much.​ Here'​s what he said about​ them in his 1796 farew​ell speec​h:​

"The alter​nate domin​ation​ of one facti​on over anoth​er,​
sharp​ened by the spiri​t of reven​ge,​ natur​al to party​ disse​nsion​,​
which​ in diffe​rent ages and count​ries has perpe​trate​d the
most horri​d enorm​ities​,​ is itsel​f a frigh​tful despo​tism.​
But this leads​ at lengt​h to a more forma​l and perma​nent despo​tism.​
The disor​ders and miser​ies which​ resul​t gradu​ally incli​ne the minds​
of men to seek secur​ity and repos​e in the absol​ute power​ of an
indiv​idual​;​ and soone​r or later​ the chief​ of some preva​iling​ facti​on,​
more able or more fortu​nate than his compe​titor​s,​ turns​ this
dispo​sitio​n to the purpo​ses of his own eleva​tion,​ on the ruins​
of publi​c liber​ty.​ "

I know that Georg​e had a habit​ for using​ big words​,​ so allow​ me to trans​late into 2008 Engli​sh:​ Polit​ical parti​es that put their​ own succe​ss over that of the count​ry'​s will be the death​ of America.​

If you don'​t belie​ve him yet, just wait a few more years​.​.​.​you'​re about​ to see first​hand how right​ he was. After​ all, if power​ corru​pts,​ then the kind of absol​ute power​ gaine​d by polit​ical parti​es (and feare​d by Washi​ngton​)​ corru​pts absol​utely​.​

The best advic​e I can give you is to stop think​ing in terms​ of left and right​ and start​ think​ing in terms​ of right​ and wrong​.​ Deman​d the best leade​rs possi​ble,​ and then deman​d the best out of them.​

Belie​ve me, when you see what'​s comin​g your way, you'​ll reali​ze how littl​e the donke​y and the eleph​ant reall​y ever matte​red.​ Oh and while​ we'​re on polit​ics,​ one quick​ thing​ that I'm sure you're curio​us about​:​ Yes, Rober​t Byrd is still​ in the Senat​e.​ He's 159, but doesn​'​t look a day over 91.

Now, let'​s talk about​ the econo​my.​ Let me see if I have this right​:​ Money​ and power​ made people greed​y,​ so you decid​ed to hand over a bunch​ of money​ and power​ to greed​y polit​ician​s inste​ad.​ Smart​!​ After​ using​ that money​ to natio​naliz​e a bunch​ of banks​,​ mortg​age compa​nies and insur​ance compa​nies,​ they moved​ on to bigge​r thing​s.​

The airli​nes came first​ -- we just could​n'​t live witho​ut them.​ Then it was the autom​akers​ (​Detro​it would​'​ve died)​,​ healt​h care (​they said they could​ manag​e it bette​r)​,​ and event​ually​,​ the oil compa​nies (I'm not sure where​ all of those​ "​windf​all profi​ts"​ have gone)​.​

The idea behin​d it all (an idea that was event​ually​ turne​d into law with the passa​ge of the Securities​ Excha​nge Act of 2011)​ was to "​socia​lize losse​s"​ by sprea​ding them out among​ all taxpayers.​ The pain,​ our leade​rs argue​d,​ would​ be minim​al that way.

They were right​.​ At least​ until​ the bills​ came due.
See, we didn'​t actua​lly have any of the money​ we were promi​sing every​one;​ we were borro​wing it.

It didn'​t take long befor​e so many of our tax dolla​rs were going​ towar​d inter​est payme​nts that we could​n'​t fund even the most basic​ of gover​nment​ progr​ams witho​ut massi​ve tax incre​ases
on every​one.​ Peopl​e now work most of the year just to pay Uncle​ Sam (or, as we now call him, ​"Comra​de Sam"​)​.​

I hear the State​ censo​rs comin​g,​ so let me leave​ you with a few other​ quick​ thing​s:​

• Good call on not worry​ing about​ prote​cting​ our borde​rs.​ That works​ out reall​y well for you in 2019.​

• You might​ want to spend​ a littl​e less time worry​ing about​ carbo​n and a littl​e more time worrying about​ Iran.​ We'​re now in a new mini-​Ice Age but, belie​ve me, Iran isn'​t using​ their​
nukes​ to warm any homes​.​ (PS The Inter​natio​nal Atomi​c Energ​y Agenc​y just revea​led to you that Iran appea​rs to be refit​ting their​ long-​range​ missi​les to carry​ nucle​ar paylo​ads.​ Did you think​ they were jokin​g or were you just too busy with lipst​icks and pigs to notic​e?​)​

• The curre​ncy of the futur​e is energ​y.​ Those​ who have it are thriv​ing and those​ who don'​t -- well,​ let'​s just leave​ it at that.​

Drill​ for all the oil you can, but you also bette​r start​ serio​usly looki​ng for some other​ optio​ns.​


In closi​ng,​ remem​ber this golde​n rule and you shoul​d be fine:​

Your Const​ituti​on will never​ fail you, but your leade​rs will.​ Be wary of anyon​e who tries​ to convince you that it's the other​ way aroun​d.​


Best wishe​s (​you'​re going​ to need them)​,​

Worke​r 2744A​

PS It's not all socia​list doom and gloom​ here in the futur​e.​

We just thawe​d Ted Willi​ams'​ cryog​enica​lly froze​n body and he hit 87 home runs for the North​ Team!​


-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​-​
Edito​r'​s note:​ Glenn​ Beck is host of a conse​rvati​ve
natio​nal radio​ talk show.​



Glenn​ Beck says the decis​ions Washi​ngton​ makes​ today​
could​ have fatef​ul conse​quenc​es for the futur​e.

I don't even know what to say....

After reading this story on "Cousin Perez", it made me realize that I seriously can't just look at marriage as just a business contract..... If you feel the same way I do, read this and tell me you won't change your mind a lil.....

Hey Everybody!

Well, would you believe this is my 50th post?! Granted, I haven't really followed what I originally had planned on doing, which is writing something everyday but oh well! I'm at least writing!

Anyways, just thought I would throw a lil update-

- Delilah is exactly 4 months old today and she has gotten SO big! It's crazy cuz there are times we don't know if it's her or the filthy animal! She's almost done getting all her shots & once she does, I'll be able to take her to get groomed so once I do, I'll post a new pic of her.... Still damn cute & still a lil bitch!

-After having to reschedule it like 3 times, I'm finally having my procedure done this Friday! Thank god! Oh and it's nothing serious but you or I wouldn't have guessed that if you went through the registering at the hospital! Geez, you would swear I'm having open heart surgery the way they prepped me!

- In the next few months, I'll be doing quite a bit of traveling- from Vegas (duh!), New York (Seeing the last performance of "RENT" & hopefully meeting up with Mr. Walsh), to even, of all places, Biloxi, Mississippi! Yes, sometime next month I'll be going over there to support someone in a Blackjack tournament..... Should be fun! ;)


Well, that's just a lil bit about what's going on with me.... In closing, I would like to ask this of the people who do read my blog:

Say something cuz guess what? I actually know that a few of you do read it due to the analytics I have on here! =) They're some of obvious that I can tell by the city but for instance, I have some people who are from different countries reading this!

Here are some stats:

-*5 continents
-*20 countries
-*158 cities!

*(wow, that sounds so "Amazing Race"-ish!)

Of course the main place that most of the readers come from is the US yet it seems like the international readers are more interested! For instance, the longest someone has been on my blog- someone in DUBLIN, IRELAND for about 30 mins! AT ONE TIME!!! Who would have guessed?!

So yeah, there you have it! Hope all is well with all of you & can't wait to hear from you all!

Take care,

me! =)

woot, woot & WOOT!

It was a plethora of good news when I got home from work yesterday! Check it out:

1- Finally got something resolved that has been basically haunting me since 2004/2005 and now I not only don't have to worry about it but it's now as if it NEVER happened!!!!

2- Got TOTALLY hooked up in a nice ass room for next weekend in Vegas!

3- Justice was served. The fucker who attacked Mr. Brad Walsh has been FIRED!!! The distributor FINALLY did something about it and I feel now there's some hope for man kind.....

All and all, it was a good night! Even called LBS to see if she wanted to go get a bite to eat and a drink cuz I was on such a high! I almost felt as if I was manic! It was very strange... Well, all I know is that I had 3 drinks in me and I had a hella good night of sleep...

me =)

What a Wonderful World*.....

* Please note sarcasm.



I honestly can not believe the type of world we live in. What ever happened to helping others, be kind & considerate and all that good shit???

First, I read this. This made me so sad yet livid at the same time. Then, a couple days later, I read this. Ok, now I'm fuming and I've never even met the guy (hopefully that will all change in sept.!).... I just can't believe this world! Everyone is so afraid of everything! Afraid to take action, to say anything, do anything, just ANYTHING at all! It's ridiculous and I just can't stand it! People wonder what has happened to our world, well, here's the answer! NO ONE WANTS TO DO ANYTHING!!!! It's so rare to actually hear of others being there for either friends, family, even sometimes a complete stranger! Look, I'm not saying we all need to hold hands and skip together in a field of daises but damn people! Have some consideration for others around!

Then, yesterday, I read this (<-- kinda long but DEFINITELY worth the read). So, I know many of you may not know of this story but it was kinda a big deal for about a month or so here. Like everyone else, I knew the basics about this story. After reading this article, I was blown away! Who knew all this turmoil that these poor kids had already experienced in their short lives???

Alright, before I continue, I know what I'm about to say may upset some. Right now, I don't care! This is EXACTLY how I feel & think and damn it, if it was only as simple as doing what I'm about to suggest-

See, these kids had no great role model/guidance in their lives. Their folks were as fucked up as they come! It really comes down to that the parents either had them by mistake/weren't planned or REALLY didn't understand what it meant to become pregnant, have a baby & raise it PROPERLY! It's not just these parents either! I can't even begin to tell you how many I personally know that REALLY shouldn't have had kids, some family included! So, here's my proposal/suggestion to the world of science:

I know we have come far in technology & the intelligence when it comes to the human body. Now, I can be way off base yet isn't there a way to sterilize everyone & then once a couple can prove themselves by taking a test or something, as not just decent human beings but up standing citizens of the world and that have the desire & excitement to have a child of their own, then they could bear children??? It would help the U.S.'s population, let alone the world's, we wouldn't have so much over crowding in school, jobs, and traffic. There wouldn't be a concern that a child isn't getting the proper attention or needs since they'll be basically met (yet not in a spoiled way) and well, I think it would solve quite a bit more of the issues going on in our world! Those are just the ones at the top of my mind! My dad even pointed out that if the rate of breeding today that soon, we'll become like China and they'll flat out say, "You have one kid & you're done!"

Can't something, ANYTHING happen to help this world we live in???

me =(

The Dark Knight

Well, I saw it last night with my mom & LBS....

All I can truly say is that it's absolutely amazing! I was honestly sitting at the edge of my seat!

I actually had this fear that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it for the simple reason that I am honestly still a mess & shoken up by the passing of Heath Ledger. I just kept telling people that I know I'm going to be sobbing while watching the movie, just thinking about how everyone was right & gave the performance of a lifetime and that this would be our last time ever witnessing the amazing talent he was. Well, what do you know??? LBS was right! She actually saw it last night and said that it wasn't til the end where it hit her that he was gone. You get SO captured by the performance he gives that you truly do forget he's gone. And let me tell you, there were a few times that my semi-pessimistic/masochist mind wanted to remind me that, "Hey, remember, he's gone...." and before it could finish reminding me, something would come to my mind and basically bitch slap it out and say, "FUCK YOU!!! Soak it up & enjoy!" and I did.

If you haven't seen it yet, please go. You won't regret a second of it! I mean, comic book stories/movies aren't my "forte" yet this did NOT come off as a comic book! It was beautiful all around. Make up, music, scenery, script, EVERYTHING was absolutely perfect! Don't get me wrong, there were a few lil "really?" moments but there's so small and dumb, it's not even worth discussing!

Oh, just promise me that if you go, make sure BEFORE the movie starts, you check to see if they're are any idiots who have decided to bring either young children or BABIES! Yes, we had someone bring a 1 to 2 year old about 15-20 mins before the movie started and LBS & I just looked at each and I said, "I'm on my way...." So I went to customer service to inform them that I have just paid $11.50 to enjoy this movie I have been waiting for quite a while to see and I did NOT want the experience to be ruined by having to come inform someone WHILE the movie is showing to let them know some idiots thought it would be ok to bring their BABY to an 8 o'clock showing of a movie that's not only 2 1/2 hours but rated PG-13, almost R! In doing that, I not only had a security guard in there the whole time but I also had 2 employees in there as well watching and making sure there would be NO disturbance from babies to idiots! But they did try to tell me that the parents had EVERY right to bring their baby in cuz they were "giving" their child "permission" to see the movie since they were under the age of 13! You should have seen my face when they told me that. I basically said everything but the phrase, "BULLSHIT!" to them.

Take it from me, if you do that, you'll enjoy the movie that much more...

me =)

PS- And yes, the moment the end credits came on, I had to contain myself from sobbing cuz if I didn't, I would have made the BIGGEST fool out of myself!